Shit NATIVE NEW YORKERS say.
Posted: January 28, 2012 Filed under: Main 83 Comments »As you probably have noticed, these “Shit People Say” videos have gone viral. There’s a bunch of them. Recently one called “Shit New Yorker’s Say” came out and many people emailed me to post it and make fun of it because it doesn’t represent what real New Yorker’s say but what transplants from Wisconsin, California, Ohio, and Connecticut say after moving here thinking life is like Friend’s, Will & Grace and Seinfeld. Here is that video – below will be a video called “Shit NATIVE New Yorker’s Say” – a much more accurate video.
Now here is “Shit NATIVE New Yorker’s Say”. Love that they threw in “fuckin’ hipsters”. It really is sad how this city is practically becoming a pussified liberal arts school campus/playground for transplanted adult toddlers. You know, Coney Island – in the first half of the 20th century - was called America’s Playground. That’s OK because it’s an actual amusement park and beach. There was nothing like it at the time. Now though, entire working class neighborhoods where normal people just want to live, raise families and not prance around like rock stars and artists are being turned into expensive adult hipster playgrounds. Fucking sad man.
Shit NATIVE New Yorker’s Say put a smile on my face.
Caesar’s Bay Bazaar holy shit!!!
The What
Someday this war is gonna end…
Help.
The film crew from the well known overseas station is here to film about how the area has become “hip” and sure enough they look like hipsters.
I am now praying they don’t try to interview me. I don’t want to kill business for my boss by saying how the area has become a homogenized version of a strip mall. You know, yoga studio, coffee shop, dive bar, cupcake joint, organic store, rinse and repeat.
Tough situation. On the one hand, you don’t want to sell out your borough of Brooklyn by promoting hipsterdom and all of that shit while on the other hand you don’t want to fuck up business for your boss.
You should focus on how the area has great potential for retailers or something. Then you don’t have to even get into the other shit. Or maybe focus on how well the business is doing, how it’s benefiting from the way things are, etc.
Either way, I damn sure would not want to be in your position.
Luckily, my boss kept them busy and away from me. (He knows how I feel about them). We’ll see what happens.
Ive yet to see a “Shit New Yorkers Say” that has hit it on the mark. Maybe there is/are too many of us for anyone to get a perfect depiction.
This video is too jewy. Yeshiva,Ed Koch, drugs, COMPLAINING and all this nostalgia stuff.
You fool. Those are all New York things. You really don’t think before you talk do you? They should have shown thugs playing dice in the projects right?
Lmao. I wouldn’t mind that addition actually.
These people sound and look like frail video bloggers. Spectators to recant the stories of real New Yorkers.
Rikers Island? Rockaway Beach? Brooklyn QUeens day? Puerto Rican parade? Weed alcohol, fuck the NYPD, civil service exams? racism? Jobs? Politics? Music?
SItting there talking about how many times you got robbed? Yea sounds real New York to me.
What is your deal exactly? Sometimes you sound like a white supremacist but then sometimes you post stuff like this.
Dont put me in your MTV categories. I dont follow any script. It comes as I go.
I didnt even hear the word YO used ONCE in ANY of these videos.
EVERY NEW YORKER SAYS YO, ALL OF THEM. Except for the super big business types.
Yo
Son
Nigga
Dude
Bro
Cousin/Primo
Hermanito
Comrad?
Flushing: it’s an age thing. People my age (way older than you might say Dude or Bro but never Son or some of the other stuff.
Hey, the best thing I heard all week was on a list of 10 companies (including American Airlines) in deep sh!t that are in danger of going out of business: American Apparel.
Yes!!!
Pabst (makers of PBR) are also filing chapter 11. Hahaha
No it isn’t, not sure where you got this idea.
It would not be a good thing for the last American-owned large brewery to go bankrupt, especially during a recession. Say what you will about its customers, it employs a lot of people.
You seem to be forgetting Yuengling, which is drank by normal people.. including the President.
It is now America’s largest brewery. Oh, and it’s not half bad.
It is actually. I got the idea from the Wall Street Journal.
http://blogs.wsj.com/bankruptcy/2012/01/18/bankruptcy-on-tap-for-former-pabst-building/
Here’s the case filing:
http://business-bankruptcies.com/cases/bc-pabst-holdings-llc
No I’m not in agreement with people losing their jobs there or at American Apparel. Maybe they should support them some more.
You’re right, I stand corrected.
But it still wouldn’t be cool to gloat about a major American employer going bankrupt. Unemployment’s already bad enough.
Lady J–that’s not Pabst, it’s just the real estate holding company that owns a former Pabst building in Milwaukee. Pabst hasn’t even been based in Milwaukee for a while now, though I believe they employ some people and make some beer in the Miller factory.
I’m definitely glad to see American Apparel go down if it does. Honestly, their clothes look like shit you can get at fucking K-Mart or Walmart for 10 bucks. I can’t believe people actually buy that overpriced crap.
Oy oy oy….
HAHAHHA Its called Jew York for a reason moron.
Zog york
Fuck you. That was almost like going back home.
Hipster playground? No Way DH…….
Oh…….hold on……….this just in:
http://brooklynbased.net/email/2012/01/when-papa-and-mama-are-just-like-the-rolling-stones/
It has a “rock n’ roll play space”. Actually, I was kind of suprise this was actually for kids. I guess the adults get the rest of the “nabe” as their “rock & roll playspace”.
God damn it. I hate these people
That was my first thought too. A rock ‘n roll play space for adult children whose shitty indie bands never got discovered, but are still trying to live the dream, maaaahhn.
This particularly pissed me off:
“Jack McFadden, an independent talent buyer for Littlefield, The Rock Shop and other music venues in Brooklyn, recently relocated to Austin with his wife and two young children, Griffin and Guthrie. They moved primarily to be closer to family and for a work opportunity for his wife.”
Obviously, the wife is doing all the breadwinning. As far as being closer to family, it’s free babysitting so that he can go tool around as an independent talent buyer, whatever the hell that is. It doesn’t sound like it brings in or ever will bring in much income. But that’s okay, let the wife and other family members take care of the kids. I still want to party, maaahnn. The shit I’m doing is IMPORTANT, maaahnn.
Griffin and Guthrie? Wow, that’s a fucked up thing to do to your kids, naming them Griffin and Guthrie.
You obviously haven’t seen the number of hipster children named “Anakin” and “Leia” yet. I listed to two such twerps go on and on about how these would be kewl names for their children, and I had to point out “Yeah, they’re names with secret messages in them. The message is ‘I’m picking out my parents’ nursing home, and I won’t stop until I find one that guarantees that they’ll lie in their own feces for weeks while rats gnaw off their eyelids.’”
Yes! Like it.
Well goddamned done!
Lime light, paladium, decepticons! Yes! Lol fuckin hipsters are like, “like yah, what’s that? The transformers use to live here?”
Oh for Gods sake a haircut now cost $40 bucks at the hipster joint?
http://personsofinterestbklyn.com/
That’s nothing.
Hair Metal on Driggs & N. 6th charges $50 for guys and $60 for women.
50?
Must be the authentic, vintage combs ironically kept in the glass tube full blue disinfectant.
I pay 16 bucks…and the guy trims the side burns and neck with hot shaving cream and a straight razor.
When I was a kid (70′s)I used to go to the place located on the corner of Henry and Carroll Sts.
Mom used to take us to Nick the barber and everybody got the same haircut. Come to think of it, the whole neighborhood had the same haircut. I guess Nick only knew the one way to cut hair. Got complicated in the late 70′s -80′s when there were hair “stylists”.
That’s fucking ridiculous. I get a perfectly good haircut for roughly 15 bucks at either of my local joints, and the one has old-school Philly Italians while the other has about 90% hot girls and only one guy working there. 50 bucks.. fuck that shit.
http://www.papermag.com/2012/01/barbershop_cuts_it_in_williams.php
OMFG! Read this article and try not to kill yourself. Check out the lumberjack in the wooly hat cutting hair. Plus you get a free Brooklyn Lager with each haircut.
Anyone know the number for the Dept of Health?
Well that explains it. Still doesn’t explain the cost. Just this week I passed an old school place on Clinton Street right off Montique. Basement shop, 2 chairs, $14 bucks. I guess the difference is “Person of Interest” is paying hipster rents. Looks like the guy on Clinton owns the shop so maybe he has a long term rent that is much lower.
“You have to wait on line.”
“My dog always pisses on a johnny pump.”
“We got no heat. The rad-iator broke.”
“Go Mets!”
“Go fuck yourself.”
“Fucking A”
“Fuck you. And your wife too!”
“Scumbag!”
“Scumthroat’
“Wanna play some stickball?”
“How many sewers can you hit?”
“”Wanna play some boxball?”
“Wanna play knuckles?”
“Wanna play hot ass?”
“Wanna play ring-o-lee-ve-o?”
“He takes the GG to get to school”
“Take the Lexington Avenue to get to Grand Central”
“Take the 7th Avenue to get to Times Square.”
“I live in Flatlands”
“I live in Midwood.”
“Where the fuck is Prospect Lefferts Garden?”
“I’m gonna hit you from here to Canarsie.”
“She’s moving to The City.”
“I got jumped.”
“Moolies”
“Spics”
“Wops”
“Micks”
“Kikes”
“I miss Jimmy Breslin.”
“What parish do you live in?”
“Wanna go to Brighton Beach?”
“They moved out to the island.”
“She’s going to college out west in Ohio.”
I like the part about moving to the City. If you were born in Brooklyn, or I guess the other boroughs, Manhattan is “The city”. If you are ,say, not from around here, the City is the whole thing. Hipsters would never figure that out. That’s why they will continue to live her, but not be from here
So true. So sad too.
In Brooklyn, “The city” may as well have been a million miles away. if you worked “in the city” you were talked about in hush tones (“He works in the city. He carries a briefcase”).
When I moved back for work, my aunt and her friends caonsidered me to be somewhat of a snob because my favorite past time on the weekend was taking the N to NYC and catching the sights.
It’s getting worse.
I just passed a restaurant that announced and I’m not kidding “try our new bacon bloody mary!” *gag* I’m all for bacon, but this goes too far. Bloody Marys are already nasty as it is.
Then yesterday I see a 4 walking down Nassau Ave. One of the guys was a will hat with a stuffed toy penguin on top of it. I broke out laughing at him. It screamed “LOOK AT MEEEE”
Also yesterday I saw a poster that announced Lana Del Rey’s upcoming album next to Van Halen. You can’t put those in the same category let alone the same poster. WTF
Typos abound, I meant I saw 4 walking down and a wool hat. (Was eating lunch while typing)
you forgot skully.
Hey, this is Anthony DeVito. Just for the record, Eliot and Ilana Glazer, who made Sh*t NYers Say, are friends of ours and we love their video; it’s a perfect satire of those young, spoiled New Yorkers we all love to hate. We thought it would be funny to add the perspective of the “born and raised” contingent, who have a very different experience and remember the days before hipster Brooklyn and the Disneyfication of Times Square. Native New Yorkers definitely have a certain nostalgia for when things were dirtier and more dangerous. We thought it’d be stupid and funny to go overboard in the other direction with too much cursing and references to murder victims and street crime. You know, the good old days.
So far, the response has been really positive. We had so much footage we didn’t include because the video would have been an hour long! We’re happy people are getting a kick out it.
You did the right thing by us. Thanks!
I still have a token with the Y cut out. And I do remember Mars, the Limelight ,and also Palladium, the Ritz, Area and Shelter too. Thanks for this, love it!
And PayDay!
Oh, HELL yes. Thank you.
Ah, so the original video was making fun of the hipsters…..got it.
Thanks for this, I laughed hard and so did a lot of people I showed it to. Hope everything works out for you in all of your future endeavors, and I’ll be rooting for you with the Super Bowl Doritos submission.
Good stuff…keep up the good work!
Loved It. Thank you!
Bravo- Breath of fresh air ! And yes, your pals hit the mark with the nauseating and annoying younger set…. too bad not everyone gets the satire, but I have to say it’s not entertaining, it makes my skin crawl.
I freaked a few years ago when I found one of those cut out Y’s in an old purse ! And you make believe you’re not middle aged until you remember being at Limelight when you were 15.
And by the way I live in a little enclave of New Yorkers out here in Denver, we find each other quick. We’re all Italians, Jews, Puerto Ricans- it’s all New York so who’s splitting irrelevant hairs here ?…….. and I liked Koch because he WAS such an asshole LOL !! Miss that guy
thanks, I needed that
I remember the Decepticons!!
I never saw them, but I do remember the stories. They would steal bikes.
FYI for the NYC newbies :Not the cartoon bad guys, but the street gang from the 80′s.
I’ve heard many a story about the Decepticons. Hoe back in the day they would just rush the subways and beat up and rob people on the trains for their jansport backpacks and sneakers. How basically if you saw them coming you just got off the train even if it wasnt your stop. Prodigy and Havoc of Mobb depp, Sean Price, and stocky fingaz of Onyx were all well known decepts. Reminds me of the Lo Lifes although they just racked polo gear in the late 80s to early 90s
Thank you for finding this DH. I sent it to my mother. She called me crying wanting to come home to the Bronx. She loved hearing those kinds of things again. It made her morning.
This is why I stand beside you guys as an outsider, but also as an ally.
Actually it was Lady J who sent me the link. Thank her.
Man, this gave me good flashbacks. I had a lot of Army buddies from New York, and this was like hearing them talking about home.
DH..Lady J:
Thank you! Damn that brought me back! You made my week!
My favorites:
“I once threw a hefty bag fulla water out that window”.
“Prostitutes – in – short – rabbit – jackets”
“My grandmother used to know Connie Francis” (not “knew”…”used to know”. Very important difference)
But damn…the casual, matter of fact delivery – classic New York.
Care to start up a post for submittals?
“That went TWO fuckin’ sewers, motherfucker..TWO!
“Who the fuck are you lookin’ at?
“Yo mutha’s a whoo-uh, did you know that?
“Don’t touch the car”
“take my seat, Miss”.
Stickball ruined my baseball swing. I was so used to hitting down a narrow street that when I played baseball I either drilled the pitcher or put it right over the 2nd base bag.
“Fucking HIPSTERS.”
Hell, yeah!
Real universities are now offering courses which analyze the OWS movement.
I am NOT making this up:
http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/285479/occupy-wall-street-101-charles-c-w-cooke
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/manhattan/columbia_offers_occupy_PKetTw1QSVVk23BllNN0DL
Lol all you need to do to understand the non-existent “movement” is a list of bullet points about how full of shit they are, what they did during their “occupation”, etc. It’s clear they still have not learned about being smart with their money and not wasting it on meaningless classes.
And Columbia of all places.. the most respected school in the country in the field of writing for decades. How shameful.
From one working class kid to another: Say what you want about the OWS folk. Some were real douches. Many were not.
But why is your annoyance not directed at the financiers and bankers who fucked millions of working-class families from their homes and jobs? These corrupt, greedy bastards are the real villains, not some other working class kids. Don’t let the millionaires start us fighting with each other. That’s how they keep their ill-gotten gains: Divide and conquer.
Yes! Columbia of all places!
You don’t recall the week-long takeover of the campus by Columbia students in 1968 that ended in a bloody rampage by the cops, similar to what happened in 2011 in Zuccotti Park? Columbia has long been a hotbed.
And look who’s reporting it: crooked Rupert Murdoch and that right-wing journal of the rich, the National Review, which never saw a boss it never liked.
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Now that was funny.
No. Just no.
I’ve seen plenty of people trying to make that “movement” out to be a bunch of working class kids fighting back and bla bla fucking bla. Working class kids don’t “protest” corporations while constantly using their products. Working class kids know how to act and don’t shit on public property or treat the world as their playground. Working class kids WORK if they need money.
You’re not fucking one of us so don’t you ever claim to be.
LOL Bloody rampage in Zucotti Park? You pussies don’t know ANYTHING about police brutality.
Unlike you idiots in OWS, I don’t go by who says what. I go by the actual facts, and the actual facts is that there was and is NO movement, and OWS is a fucking disgrace.
“You’re not fucking one of us so don’t you ever claim to be.”
Listen, buster, you know shit about me, my job, my background, where I’ve been, what I’ve done, or what products I buy.
So, STFU fantasizing about me to justify your ignorant, cretin beliefs.
No need to respond:
If I ever want shit out of you, I’ll squeeze your head.
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ZZZzzz….
You misspelled, “I got nothin’”, Sean.
You’re my new favorite commenter. Makes me laugh my ass off the way they all say the same exact shit over and over again.
I especially love the “cretin” comments mixed with the wannabe tough guy bullshit. As if they’re anything other than average in every single way. I’d really love to find out just how tough these dudes would talk in person.
It sounds more like they’re incorporating the protests into an existing curriculum. Which makes sense, after all. If you’re teaching a class that covers organized labor or political movements, ignoring the Occupy groups would be doing the students a disservice (no matter where you stand on them). But this is National Review and the NY Post – which means this has nothing to do with what the classes are actually about, and everything to do with getting the party base riled up and screaming about liberal professors.
Agreed petit hughie. (You read “The Boys”?) I don’t trust Fox News or National Review.
National Review also doesn’t realize that “Occu-Punks” don’t work for or fully trust “Big Labor”. They see Big Labor as another facet of “the man”.
THESE FUCKING PRIVILEDGED WANNA-BE URBAN FUCKS WILL NEVER BE REAL NEW YORKERS, PHILADELPHIANS, WASHINGTONIANS ETC…
NO MATTER HOW MANY NEIGHBORHOOD BLOGS THEY HAVE
NO MATTER HOW MUCH INFLATED RENT THEY PAY
THEY WILL ALWAYS BE CONSIDERED WANNA-BE URBAN INFLATED RENT PAYING TRANSPLANT PIECES OF SHIT
Shit the New York Times says:
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/29/opinion/sunday/childrens-add-drugs-dont-work-long-term.html?hp
Ritalin Gone Wrong
By L. ALAN SROUFE
Published: January 28, 2012
THREE million children in this country take drugs for problems in focusing. Toward the end of last year, many of their parents were deeply alarmed because there was a shortage of drugs like Ritalin and Adderall that they considered absolutely essential to their children’s functioning.
(read the rest at the link)
Honestly, I say this as a non-New Yorker who has alot of family in the NY/NJ area…
I think part of the reason why so many people are drawn to NYC is mainly because people there have character and distinct personalities. New Yorkers just have that vibe, that realness. I think alot of these kids come over to there from their flyover states because…where they’re from has no personality or character. People there have no personality or real distinct character and it’s just a mess of strip malls, mcmansions, shopping malls, wal-marts, and targets. These videos just put that point across with me honestly.
Sure, cool and genuine people are everywhere (when I say cool I’m not referring to “hip” or whatnot that realtors use to remove hipsters from their money), and I’ve always made an effort wherever I am to talk to people, young and old and all across every type of line you can think of. But what it comes down to for hipsters wanting to move to NYC is jealousy and sort of a looming self-hatred.
Hanging out in The Lower East Side or Brooklyn or Queens seems so much more “realer” to these types than being stuck in a shitty town where there’s NO diversity and absolutely nothing to do except drink, do drugs, have sex, and maybe break some stuff out of anger/animosity/boredom/resentment.
Alot of people (especially those I’ve known) moved to NYC mainly because it had more to offer them there were more opportunities and it better suited them. Then I know and have known (far less) people that moved there, just thought they were on some Hollywood shit because they live in NYC and started to get egos and act like they were better than everyone else…mainly because they really had nothing going on for them or were remotely interesting where they used to live…so they held some sort of superiority complex that really just masked alot of inferiority.
The problem with “Shit NATIVE New Yorkers say” is its the EXACT stereotypes of Seinfeld, Friends, and Will & Grace all rolled into one. I remember tokens too. That just means we’re old, not that we’re any more New York that anyone else. I think the first video is funnier and DEFINITELY looks and sounds better than the 2nd video…
You do realize that first video was meant as a joke making fun of transplants who now claim to be new yorkers right? Check Anthony DeVito’s post for clarification.
http://gothamist.com/2012/01/29/talkin_sht_with_anthony_devito_make.php
“Eliot and Ilana Glazer, who made ‘”Shit NYers Say,”‘ are friends of mine and I love their video; it’s a pitch-perfect satire of those young, spoiled New Yorkers we all love to hate. They knew exactly what they were doing and they did it very well.”
Thank you. I guess we stand corrected.
shut the fuck up, you sound like a momo!
That “ironically” comment about the New York Post as well as Ground Zero cement my opinion of the first video as a hipster-transplant project. My dad lived in New York City for a while in the 1970′s (not native) and based off of what he and his NATIVE NYC friends say, the 2nd video packs a lot more credence.
I surely miss the short rabbit jackets.