More marketing to the hipster.

Here’s a current “marketing to the hipster” ad that’s up in the subways now. For Christmas gift ideas, the Braun electric shaver company is targeting hipsters who feel they’ve invented facial hair among so many other things. The ad says to “rep your borough”. Well look at the facial hair associated with Brooklyn. Of course it’s the full-on, bushy, licefest hipster beard. Some would say – a beard is a beard. No I’m sorry. Up until the hipster invasion, beards and moustaches were no big deal – that’s when a beard was just a beard. Only certain men wore them and it did not look odd on them. Now though, the hipster uses the beard to label himself as a North Brooklyn cultured creative type. He feels it balances out the rolled up women’s jeans, extra small lumberjack shirt and thick framed glasses. He wants to mimic the douche sitting across from him on the L or G train or the Josh living in the overpriced apartment above him. Lastly and sadly, I think Braun got the idea for this ad from the hipster that got caught drawing moustaches on subway ads a few months ago. Damn, what a sad world we live in.

88 thoughts on “More marketing to the hipster.

  1. Maybe Raid should do the same – show an enlarged pictures bedbugs and lice. Underneath put the blurb:

    Scabs. Sores.

    Itch Your Style

    Rep your Borough

  2. That’s funny because the facial hear/beard that I get when I go to the barber is actually the QUeens one.. Unless its the summer then I might go for it extra thin.

    The Manhattan one is funny…. true elitist mustache.

  3. I guess you can consider this hipster marketing. It’s Katy Perry’s latest. All the talking points are here.
    Hipster douche dies in a car crash which is unrealistic.

    We all know hipster douches get nailed by largecommercial vehicles while riding their fixies.

    • I would love to see Katy Perry get squashed by an 18 wheeler. I couldn’t even watch more than 30 seconds of that drivel.

      Why do they still make music videos anyway?
      Why are there still bands?

      Don’t they know that every possible music video/band idea has been exhausted around the time Kurt Cobain died?

      Give it up already.

    • Katy Perry is nothing but a fucktoy with big tits. She’s not even that hot.

      They all copied M I A anyway

      • What a dumb bitch. The only time a Canklestein has this done to her face is when she passes out drunk at a frat party.

        • there’s been more than one band at a loft party that has left a present like that for someone in the morning to clean up.

        • One need only download the pdf menu for the true irritation. Cheapest cake seems to be a 8″ bunt cake for $38!!!!! Yes, there are Rick Crispy treats on the menu. But best of all………..I shit you not………….for only 50 cents each…………Homemade………….Handcut………Marshmallows!!!! Yup, you read it right. Hand made, han
          dcut marshmallows.

  4. Man killed at hummus-making factory in Taunton, MA:

    TAUNTON (CBS) — Taunton police say a man was killed in an accident at a hummus-making plant early Friday morning.

    Officers went to Tribe Mediterranean Foods at about 2 a.m. for reports of an “industrial accident.”

    According to the Taunton Gazette, a man’s arm was caught in a grinder.

    He was taken to Morton Hospital, where he died.

    His name has not been released.

    There has been no comment yet from the company.

    Tribe Mediterranean Foods, which was established in 1993, makes and sells 17 all-natural flavors of hummus and five organic products.

    • Lemme guess, it was a hispanic or other minority worker that’s why they won’t release his name. If it was a joshie that got killed chances are that his name would be plastered all over in any news that features this story. Then again Joshie won’t be the one doing the hard manual labor anyway, as usual.

      • That’s my guess, JC.

        God forbid somebody point out that they’re just as exploitative and discriminatory as the parents they profess to hate (when they’re not mooching rent money).

      • I live near Haddonfield – an old historic communtiy that was made utterly pretentious by yuppies and then intolerable by the latest hipster infestation.

        How intolerable? How does a diversity toy store and organic, cruelty free soap maker sound to you?

        My kid takes piano lessons in Haddonfield so we’re there pretty often. One shop – an organic juice/coffee/snack shoppe. The owners are never behind the counter. You can find them in the back corner holding court with other meghans and beardos.

        Now the juices are pretty good. my son likes them. The young (and pretty) hispanic girl who’s English was passable manned the counter alone – with ten customers in line. Man did she hustle – even with the hispters who can’t place a simple order with a fucking holding a congressional hearing.

        The girl is waiting on the turd in front of me when The owner yells from the back.

        MARIA!!! MARIA!!!! CAN YOU GET A COUPLE OF LATTES HERE?

        She focuses on the customers – as she should.

        (sound of snapping fingers) MARIA!!! DIDN’T YOU HEAR ME!!! TWO LATTES…NOW!!!

        She tells them “in a minute…I have customers..”

        Well why Maria is trying to keep up with the flow of customers….Yah-lulah Fuckhead trustafarian comes stomping behind the counter and proceeds to slam espresso accessories around while launching into a tirade:

        GODDAMIT MARIA!! WHEN I SAY TWO LATTES I MEAN NOW!!!! YOU LAZY BITCH!!! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!

        Now I’m not against profanity. But not when there are kids in line and certainly not against some poor woman busting her ass.

        So I spoke up: Hey – the lady is busting her hump waiting on YOUR customers in YOUR store without YOUR help and you have the nerve to berate her using profanity in front of a store full of people..and children? Shut your mouth, get off your lazy ass and make your own coffee”.

        Well you could have heard a pin drop. But the most painful part? none of the Beardos, Meghans and organic soccer moms with their overprivileged progeny said a word. Not one.

        We are doomed.

        • Well Done speaking up though. As long as your kids learned something from your example perhaps we aren’t totally doomed.

        • That was a boss move, keep up the good work and maybe someday these clowns will get a clue.

    • “Tribe Mediterranean Foods, which was established in 1993, makes and sells 17 all-natural flavors of hummus”

      I guess now it’s 18 flavours.

  5. OK, I haven’t watched MTV in years so I’m a bit out of touch with what’s going on in the world of “cool”. But a new series of Beavis and Butthead compelled me.

    Then, last night I saw this and I wanted to cry. This is the rot society has come to. Stupid nasally mother, stupid nasally father let stupid nasally single-mom daughter borrow $1,000 for boob implants and take care of baby while she’s gone. Even B&B’s mocking of their nasally talking couldn’t stem my anger. Bet she’ll be off to Brooklyn soon.

    • Oh ..then you’ll loveMTV’s series about about sweet 16 parties.

      Also – from what my wife tells me she won’t get much for 1000 bucks. Doesn’t the average implant job cost like 3K?

    • What a spoiled little cunt. Just sayin

      • We all need to stop using the internet terms hipsters love so much. It may seem harmless but in reality it hurts us and helps them by making the crap they do seem acceptable.

        • If you’re referring to the term just sayin, that’s been around a lot longer than these hipster douchebags…even before they were a twinkle in their fathers’ eyes

          • I’m referring to all of them. And I know that but these losers use it constantly. We don’t want them thinking a single thing they do is acceptable let alone acceptable to actual working class or urban people.

          • Allow me to ellaborate: One thing these fucks thrive off of is doing things that real people do, people who actually are the things that these kids want to be. One major problem we have today is that an entire almost generation of kids, no matter where they’re from, does shit that hipsters love to do and does not even call hipsters out at all. It’s like this whole “we’re a generation” thing. This is mostly because a lot of kids and “adults” these days, no matter where they’re from, need to be put in their places and called out on a lot of things, and the kids and “adults” that accept hipsters and give them their “hood pass” do so because hipsters worship them and treat them like they’re gods. These kids and “adults” know that they need to change and stop disgracing where and who they come from, and hipsters take advantage of the fact that there’s a whole world of bullshit in even the most hard-nosed places. Hipsters take advantage of the fact that you can just pull a gun these days instead of fighting 1 on 1, that so many people of every walk of life pull so much bullshit and further and embrace so much bullshit. Those people are the reason hipsters exist.

            That’s why it may seem harmless and yes all of it was around before these losers but it’s not worth it to use some old ass internet terms or other things when the price is that you help these fucks and hurt your own people.

          • I like your thinking!

          • Thanks. I only know as much as I do about this stuff because the county I grew up in has had the same interaction of wealthy suburban kids and lower class urban kids that places like Brooklyn are seeing recently for decades now, so I know everything about these kids, including how to stop them. The only difference is that while in places like Brooklyn it’s due to gentrification, here it’s due to the largest amount of the county being middle to upper middle class, which of course means that the urban parts right outside of Philly have no voice or representation and are either ignored or defined by deluded kids who come from money. Sound familiar?

    • I refuse to watch the new episodes of Beavis and Butthead. I’d rather leave my memories pristine of it from the nineties then ruin them by watching them try to deal with the garbage heap that MTV is now.

      I haven’t watched that network in over 10 years…

      • Agreed. I guarantee you it’s not even remotely the same as the original one was.

        Bastards have to ruin everything.

      • I’ve seen the first 3 episodes so far. They just rehashed the same formula. There’s some funny moments all right but overall nothing Earth shattering.

        What’s really sad is there’s no music videos anymore. OK, there’s a few but they’re so totally lame, I can’t imagine what’s happened to young people. Instead they use scenes from Jersey Shore, Teen Mom and a few other MTV crappy shows. There’s no more Ozzy or Guns n Roses or AC-DC, not even the sucky videos they used to laugh at. I saw Katy Perry (see above for opinion on her), Elephant (totally suck – lame, lame, lame) and some Mothers from Detroit (boring). No Rock, no Rap, no RnB, not even an 80s video to laugh at. It’s just sad.

        My guess, it won’t last long.

        • I’m going to take back some of that comment. The cartoon elements of the new B&B are awesome. Mike Judge is making some strong political statements. There’s one where they go to an army base and take control of some drones in Afghanistan. Totally blew me away. Mike Judge hasn’t lost his touch. The one where Cornhoulio becomes a god is hilarious too.

          Problem is the lack of good music videos. Otherwise they’re awesome.

          • Word.

            I don’t own a TV (I stopped watching TV over 3 years ago), but next time I’m around someone who has one and ondemand/xfinity, I’ll check it out. Or I’ll just download them from ze interwebs.

          • they’re streaming for free on MTV

    • Boob implants aren’t going to help that busted face she has.

      • She wants to be a model too….. Thats her career dream, lol
        Maybe she shoulda gone for the nose job.
        But really-
        Who buys their kid- one that had a baby as a teen- a BOOB job? Its not like she’s responsible with sex, as if she needs any more attention in that department?????

    • Mike Judge lives in Austin, so I can understand all too well why he loathes hipsters. You can’t swing a cattle prod without hitting a whole herd of them.

    • I just watched the clip (and had second thoughts at first given how annoying the chick and her mom are) and it was hilarious. It also made me think that at least the Teen Mom is thinking into the future and knows she can still be a sex toy well into her 30s with those fake tits. Plus there’s always the option of stripper, pornstar, hooker, or any other kind of profession where she can be objectified. She’s really making a smart decision for her future. Good for her.

    • Oh god. Please don’t give hipsters any ideas.

      If they think they’re a race, they might ask for civil rights. It might become illegal to discriminate against trust-funded hummus connoisseurs.

    • A few weeks ago when that Williamsburg artist got nailed on his fixies…

      • By a truck on TenEyck street in between the loading dock of two warehouses at 4 in the morning? How dare that goddamned myopic truck driver not see pwecious Ethan on his Wicked Witch bicycle. Another talent dies…in the ghettooooooo.

    • A josh or meagen? Rarely but if definitely happens.

      WHEN HAVE YOU SEEN A HASIDIC JEW OR BURKA MUSLIM WOMAN BEING STOPPED AND FRISKED?

      NEVER EVER EVER EVER.

      I

  6. Okay, now that the holidays are upon us the MTA has brought out some of the vintage rides for service use. I think it’s great since I was always fascinated by the transit system growing up and even have an railroad set of Redbirds alongside the toy GM Fishbowl buses.

    Of course we have these fucking hipster douches doing the same “look at me” crap on these rides and get in the way of what is supposed to be a pleasant throwback experience. Can’t wait for more of them to leave for the holidays, though they’ll be back in full force for New Year’s Eve….

  7. Samsung ad takes shot at “creative barista”…and assorted beardos

    • The Apple following hipsters are now on the defensive stating how people are always attacking Apple for no reason. It shows how Apple and hipsters go hand in hand: fucking clueless as to why people dislike or even hate them.

    • Seems more like hipsters mocking hipsters to me.

      Shit is so old and tired, copying things that started with Generation X, maybe earlier. For example “You’re a barista, you bariste for a living”. You can’t tell me that doesn’t sound like every snarky, smartass Ben Stiller type of actor from that time.

      • I’ve been seeing these ads too and thought basically the same thing.

        This is marketing to the hipsters just like putting hot women in beer commercials is marketing to women. Making a hipster feel either dumb or even making them think they might be unaware of the next big thing has the same affect as making women self concious about their own image — it makes them run out to buy whatever it is that you can make them think will help them fit in better.
        (As with anything this doesn’t hold true of all women — or all hipsters. But the fact of the matter is that a beautiful woman in an ad will draw the attention of just as many women as it will men.)

        Apple did it really well with “if it’s an iPhone, it’s not an iPhone”.
        This is arguablely better in that it makes the iPhone crowd think twice about whether or not thier iPhone is really the best and most pretentious phone available to them.

        • … “if it’s not an iPhone, it’s not an iPhone”.
          D’oh!

        • You could be right but I meant more that they’re mocking things they either don’t want to admit they do or as if it’s just an embarassing yet acceptable phase Do you remember when those Miller Lite comercials originally came out? They were mocking trends that any non-douche of a person thought were stupid to begin with and mocking them after they all did them (dragons on shirts, spray tans, skinny jeans, sunglasses at night, etc). That’s what this commercial reeks of to me. These types, whether they be hipsters or otherwise, just love to pretend they’re above trends or things they all did, as if they never did them. Either that or they act like it’s a generational thing and everybody did it and it’s just an embarassing but acceptable phase.

    • “I’m ‘creative’.”

      “Dude, you’re a barista.”

      HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

  8. This has to be some of the dumbest advertising I’ve ever seen. Who designated these styles to the boroughs?

    • You mean everyone in the bronx doesn’t line-up a thin douche-baggy whitey ford style beard?

  9. I think these hipster guys must chose a neighbourhood (sorry, I’m English hence the spelling) by the amount of facial hair they can grow. You can only grow mutton chops (sideburns)? Move to Stanten Island.

    Sadly it seems that none of those styles is actually a proper beard (ie ‘Brooklyn’ plus ‘Queens’ plus actual growth on your cheeks). I know these hipsters are immature 30 year olds, but really – are they all unable to grow an actual beard that you can go to work with (ie a normal beard) and not look like a twat?

  10. I hate those bushmills since way back ads! They are everywhere. I cringe at how douch hipster they are. They have the beardos, the tats, wool hats and the douchebag attitude.

  11. I rather enjoy looking at Kat Dennings tits on Two Broke Girls. I see she takes a lot of shots at hipsters in that show. It’s a pleasant change of pace even though the show could be funnier, I appreciate their attempt not to conform.

    • It’s funny because she’s from a very suburban and upper middle class to upper class place on the Main Line, one of the places that breeds either hipsters or trophy wives. Maybe that’s why she’s not quite like them, having been home-schooled and not “belonging” to that whole world she lived in and all of that. That’s what tends to separate actually creative and special people from wannabes is that actually creative and special people have a feeling of wanting to find somewhere they belong or of wanting to get something they can’t have otherwise, and wannabes can never see outside of the world they live in and break free and only want to be special or famous or whatever other bullshit.

      She definitely has some great tits too.

    • I do like that show a lot more than I thought I would. They take shots at hipsters all the time and uptight vegan earth mother yoga Park Slope types too.

  12. Rep your borough?

    The boroughs they are living in are not even theirs to rep!

    UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    They are inflated rent paying wanna-be urban pieces of shit.

  13. Correct me if I’m wrong, but shouldn’t The Staten Island actually be called The Fire Island?

    • I follow some diet blogs and there are always people talking about how badly that stuff messed them up.

      Who would have thought ingesting raw meat and not taking in enough carbs could be harmful?

      Now excuse me, I have some planking to do, followed by a trip to Whole Foods where I will purchase some paleolithically shipped and refrigerated raw top sirloin for lunch. Consumed in private, of course, since no one at work can stand to watch me eat this shite.

    • Yeah the funny thing about cavemen is they not only ate much more than just raw meat, they also happened to be in better shape than these “cavemen” losers could ever be given that they were out in the wild and couldn’t afford to be lazy or out of shape unless they wanted to die.

      The closest thing to modern day cavemen are athletes and military personnel.

  14. More nuttiness, straight out of Portlandia.

    http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2011/12/portland_police_arrest_man_aft_1.html

    Portland police arrest man after alleged ‘Star Wars’ light saber assault at Toys R Us

    Police arrested a man who allegedly assaulted three people with a blue light saber at a Hayden Island Toys R Us Wednesday night.

    A 9-1-1 caller reported the incident about 9:50 p.m. and said the man was inside the store, 1800 Jantzen Beach Center, swinging the “Star Wars” weapon of choice at customers, said Sgt. Pete Simpson, a spokesman for the Portland Police Bureau. While the caller was on the phone, the man then left the store — light saber in hand — and walked out to the parking lot.

    Officers tried to arrest the man, but he kept swinging the light saber at them, Simpson said. One tried to use his Taser on the suspect but the device didn’t work.

    Another officer used his Taser and made contact, but the man knocked one of the wires away with the light saber.

    The officers finally arrested the man after grabbing him and pinning him to the ground. The suspect, identified only as a 33-year-old Hillsboro man, was treated by medics at the scene and taken to an area hospital for a mental evaluation. He faces “several criminal charges” after he is evaluated, Simpson said.

    None of the victims of the light saber assault needed medical attention, Simpson said.

    • The Force wasn’t with him.

      • Lol now that was funny.

        I would’ve loved to have seen that or even a video of it. And of course he was in his 30s…

        They really should make a “30 going on hipster” movie, where a hard-working, normal young adult makes a wish and turns into a filthy, immature, tatted up hipster.

    • Considering the fucktards who already hang out at the Jantzen Beach Toys R Us, this isn’t surprising in the slightest. This gimp is probably just like Patton Oswalt’s D&D geek character on “Reno 911″.

    • He might be a hipster, but no one deserves a car driven into them while they’re in a hotel room. Admittedly the fundraiser is hipster heaven/hell (depending on your opinion) but this is possibly the only positive thing about the whole hipster scene – they do at least club together for a relatively worthy cause.

    • It would be a cute kid thing if those items were marketed towards children, with little kids posing in the ads, and stocked at kids’ stores. But those are grown people photographed with those products and it’s grown people they are pitching to. Oh, right, hipsters are nothing but adult children…

      I couldn’t agree more with the wine opener caption: “”She’ll be so distracted by your Handlebar Mustache Bottle Opener she’ll hardly notice the label on your cheapskate $4.95 bottle of fine.” If that’s the case, they’re a perfect pair.” Absolutely.

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