Today, I saw a bearded, AAA battery armed, loft-dwelling, bacon discovering, cage-free, kickballing, gentrifying hipster piece of shit cruising to an urban photographed graffiti exhibit on his 12 foot long skateboard that Daddy bought him for his 40th birthday. So I gave him a swift whack across the skull with my tire iron, placed a plunger over his mouth and removed the hummus and PBR breakfast from his intestines. End of story.