To anyone who actually lived through the 9/11 attacks like myself who was in Manhattan and ended up walking home to Brooklyn seeing people covered in white dust as I made my way downtown towards the bridges. Or even worse – if you were in the Towers or in the immediate area when it happened. Or even worse, lost a loved one or friend because of it – then this fucking picture should make you sick and want to run through Hipsterland ripping the hearts out of every staycationing zero-talent adult toddler that is treating Brooklyn as an extension of their liberal arts college campus.
This picture which wasn’t released until 2006 was taken the day of the attacks probably around early afternoon judging by the short shadows of the creative types and their zero-carbon footprint bicycle - placing the sun directly above their filthy heads. Yep, just look at them, sitting around doing nothing amidst the chaos happening right across the river. Probably discussing the plot of their next indie film shot with equipment bought by their parents. Or maybe trying to figure out where they’ll have locally crafted brunch to cure their Tuesday afternoon hangovers. They could be talking about how there are annoying Hispanic and Polish people on the block they just moved to. Maybe they are planning an adult urban pillow fight to raise awareness of the unfair wages coffee bean pickers in Africa are getting. Possibly pooling their monthly gentrification allowance together to open a “pop-up” vinyl record and specialty cheese shop in a working class “nabe”.
My friends, fellow New Yorkers and hipster haters abroad…..the adult, jobless, gentrifying hipster pieces of shit you see in this photo are pretty much the first generation of useless fucks to invade our great borough. These are the foretoddlers of gentrified Brooklyn. They arrived late 90′s and began paying $1,200 – $2000 dollars a month for $600 apartments. These are the culprits. Of course they are long gone now – back in Cul-de-Sac County, Kalamazoo having been replaced by tens of thousands of other artists, urban mixologists, artisanal craftsmen, writers, bloggers, sculptors, flea market associates, bike lane advocates, dwellers of unsightly and unnecessary condo’s, fingerpainters, pioneering urban explorers, latte foam happy face makers, and so on.
This picture truly explains the hipster epidemic. Here is the article I got the picture from that somebody sent me. I don’t give a fuck what the article or some of the commentors say – I think I got the story straighter than anyone.