Attention Pulitzer Prize winning coffee shop blogging uniquesters! I am about to make your lives so much easier. (As if you don’t have it easy enough already having your expenses paid by your parents well into your 30’s) There is now a website that will generate paragraph after paragraph of insanely unique, zany, and quirky verbiage for your blog. Like yah. Here is an example that I just generated:
Jean shorts etsy fap, synth viral squid quinoa marfa stumptown american apparel seitan put a bird on it photo booth. Shoreditch cosby sweater retro fanny pack beard. Ethical mcsweeney’s marfa scenester photo booth trust fund. Ethical echo park terry richardson locavore, retro blog single-origin coffee jean shorts wes anderson wolf brooklyn art party hoodie +1 cardigan. Wes anderson photo booth food truck aesthetic, echo park 3 wolf moon sartorial jean shorts next level locavore quinoa homo etsy. Artisan scenester raw denim, quinoa bicycle rights pitchfork 3 wolf moon sustainable readymade wayfarers williamsburg. Gluten-free bicycle rights vice craft beer, vegan ethical cardigan jean shorts.
P.S. – If any snarky rent-raising hipster fuck wants to try and say [begin nasalness] “Like yah, but this is a blog so you are a hipster too! [end nasalness] WRONG FUCKO! This is a complaint board. This is a legal way to crush your fucking skull. This is how you know we hate you. I do not write about MYSELF, cupcakes, artisanal food, shitty music, fashion, and hipster community events. Do I? No I don’t.