Fishing for hipsters.

Here’s another installment of Fishing for Hipsters where I place a fake ad on Craigslist and post the desperate douchy replies on here. I’m going to have to change it up next time, I think. I get less responses than I used to. Maybe word got around the hipster community to be aware of not becoming a Fishing for Hipsters victim on Diehipster.com? Maybe hipsters have moved on to real dating sites as opposed to Craigslist? I actually posted a totally different kind of ad a few months ago in the Community/Arts section or something like that saying I was holding an adult finger painting contest in McCarren park and there would be plenty of organic snacks but you had to write a letter explaining why you, your art and lifestyle were helping Brooklyn thrive. I think I got only one response as I guess more people hound the personals. Anyway here is what I posted:

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/w4m/2525631773.html

A partner in the Shwick? – 29 (Billy/Shwick)


Date: 2011-08-02, 7:34AM EDT
Reply to:

Reply To This Post

[Errors when replying to ads?]


 

Hello potential scruffy boy.

I have arrived in the artistic wonderland of Brooklyn, New York after reading many a blog post and speaking with many friends. I moved from Michigan last month and am in the process of purchasing a small building in East Billy/Shwick to convert into a center for arts along with a rooftop garden for the community of artists. I would love to meet a super artsy, scruffy, talented, urban hot mess of a man to partner with for love, life,fun times, urban exploration and for help with this venture and bringing culture to Brooklyn. Serious replies only. And please tell me about yourself in some length. I won’t reply to “hey baby, got a pic?” or penis shots.

Love,

Megan
_________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Here were some of the responses:

 

Though I assume that your inbox is most likely flooded with hordes of
applications from eager suitors, I slightly suspect that the quality is less
than tempting.

I am 6’4″ 210 lbs. Sans tattoos, though heavily steeped in both wit & charm. .
or at least clever discordancy. Dreadfully poor at math. My velcro-wallet was
a mere 2$. I attempt to cook a gourmet meal nearly every night. Dive bars own
my heart. I am out in LES usually every night that I am out, and I am much less
interested in factitiously chichi venues as I am with the quiet elegance of presence. . .
Feel free to respond, lest of course, my asininity delivers me
straight to the bottom of the stack. I live and paint in Chelsea.

————————————————————————————————–

Okay Megan I’ll play! I live in B-wick with 3 crazy roommates. All ladies, messy lady’s in fact. It’s Brooklyn so we’re all crazy and everyone wants to be an artist. I do mixed media and just had a show last week. I get bored at work and search craigslist and I saw your ad, It sounded pretty great actually and even the fact I’ve never answered an ad before I figure if we don’t find one another attractive we could still do art together!
 
Don’t be crazy I promise I’m not.

————————————————————————————————–

Hey -

You sound great.  Art and rooftop gardening – love it.  Those are a
couple of my spheres of interest also – especially art.

  I live in Bushwick.  I’m a photographer.
Single. 

I’m from Vancouver.  Like it.  I belong to a
community garden and have belonged to a CSA – just today arranged
for another one.
How’s the arts center coming?

M

——————————————————————————————————

Hey,
I’m not a hipster but I am definitely the scruffy artist type.  I run a creative arts based program in bushwick and also work in education in bushwick. 
Aside from that I am an artist and musician myself and would love to get to know you better.  Tell me about you. Trade pics?

—————————————————————————————————–

This is funny. I actually live in East Williamsburg. I am a artist/performer of sorts and I own a small building. I have a vacancy right now and I’m desperately trying to rent it, so I’ve been on craigslist almost everyday for a few weeks. I saw your post and felt compelled to respond.
Anyway, I make my living as a musician, I’m really not that scruffy, but I feel I have lived most of my life outside of the status quo by being undercover and keeping a low profile. The energy in our neighborhood is pretty awesome and it keeps getting better. I’ve actually lived out here since 2001 and I can’t believe how much things have changed.
Good luck with your endeavors and write me back if you would like to know more about me. I would like to hear more about you too.
take care, N

———————————————————————————————————–

Hi,

 I’m a brazilian artist, who like most of other artist have a day job.(jobs!) :D
I’ve been in the US since 2000, have lived in Williamsburg/Greenpoint area for about 6 years, before moving to England and France (2007).
Have worked as DJ, building props for commercials/music videos, stage design, painter, carpenter, events designer,  as well as worked on my own music, painting, silk screening, etc.
I liked your ad not only ’cause you sound very energetic, enthusiastic, passionate and idealistic about arts and community. I believe I’m like that too…
I also love bike riding, walking, cooking, writing/reading, gardening, building “things”, remodeling/construction houses…
What part of Brooklyn are you? What do you love the most in NYC? Do you wear glasses? What’s your sign? :D
Hope hear back from you…
love, peace and harmony!

—————————————————————————————————-

(HERE IS MY FAVORITE)

go back to Michigan, or Detroit more specifically. you’ll find exactly what you’re looking for, i promise. Brooklyn doesn’t need any more people like you.

G.D.

 

91 thoughts on “Fishing for hipsters.

    • “..You can’t effect positive, meaningful social change by enraging the people you’re hoping to reach against you. You’d think that was simple, common sense, and it is, but here’s where common sense fails: these events aren’t truly about accomplishing anything other than stroking the egos of the dipshits who participate in them.”

      Amen.

      Getting to the Philly Museum of Art is no big deal for me. I know when to avoid the area – St. Patrick’s Day, etc because of parades.

      One day I was stuck at the exit. I could see the museum. If I had abandoned my car I could have walked there within 20 minutes. An hour goes by. I see bike riders. It’s Critical Mass.

      The guy two cars down with two girls in the back seat had enough of the nonsense when a naked beardo stopped right in front of him. He jumped out of the threw the guy off the bike and smashed it repeatedly into a pole.

      Many cheers all around but he actually made things worse because all the other wing nuts stopped to filmthe inicident with their phones.

    • At least once per month, I get at least one co-worker or vague acquaintance nuhdzing me about joining the Dallas Critical Mass, solely because I bike to work. They get incredibly butthurt when I gently decline: what I want to tell them is that I’d sooner catheterize myself with a bowling trophy than be even remotely connected to it.

    • When I lived in Vancouver — or, The Useful Idiot Human Shield Factory, as I called it, due to the never-ending moronic welfare-collecting communist perma-students protesting in support of whoever the latest Third World thug was at the moment — they (naturally) had their little push-bike protest, as well.

      And, yes, they always coyly insisted that the purpose of their “critical mass” was to Raise Awareness(tm). To a certain extent they were correct: In most people, it “raised awareness” of how much they wanted to rip off one of the flacid jellyfish tentacles — analogous to an “arm” on a normally-developed human physique — wrap it around their 1.0 mm drafting pencil lead-diameter necks, and strangle them to death, and then set their bicycle on fire.

      Carthago delenda est!

  1. Love me some fishing for hipsters – great stuff. Billy/Schwick had me rolling.

    “I’ve actually lived out here since 2001 and can’t believe how much things have changed.” – how the fuck do you think we feel, Hummus.

    “I run a creative arts based program in Bushwick” – definition: I take photos of street graffiti done by real New Yorkers and post it on my blog.

    “I do mixed media” – definition: I sit in Ironic Ethan’s Soy Latte Collective all day watching Youtube videos.

    And I love how hard the first hipster is trying with his ‘I’ll use words I never use in real life to sound like I am one of those guys that is really smart and doesn’t even realize it’ act.

    “I belong to a community garden” – well, if that doesn’t get the panties to drop, nothing will.

  2. “I’m not a hipster…”

    Oh, of course you’re not, Hummus. You “just happened” to move Brooklyn from Wiscotuckysotawa, are involved in the “creative arts” and self-identify as a “scruffy artist type”. I’ve got some news for ya… you’re a filthy, scrawny, talentless, irony-loving FUCKING HIPSTER!!!

    It amazes me how these fucking Ethans and Meghans abjectly refuse to identify themselves as what they are. I can’t think of another social group in all of human history who loathed to be associated with their own culture. They want to be hipsters… they just don’t want to be *known* as hipsters. Fucking adult toddlers…

  3. Ok I want to take a few shots at one of these morons, but first a question for DH. After you’ve had a successful run of hipster fishing(say, a few weeks with one ad), do you provide the “fish” with links to Diehistper? They would probably be horrified to see their talented writing and romantic wit mocked on this page.

    Anyway, this one earned my wrath:

    “am 6’4″ 210 lbs. Sans tattoos, though heavily steeped in both wit & charm. .”

    If you have to tell people you have wit and charm, you have neither.

    “or at least clever discordancy.”

    Like nobody is going to suspect that this idiot specifically looked up random words to drop into conversation in order to appear intelligent. ‘Clever discordancy’ doesn’t really even mean anything.

    “Dreadfully poor at math.”

    Really? Just math?

    ” My velcro-wallet was
    a mere 2$.”

    A personal anecdote about wallets to illustrate the idiocy of this statement. I started getting wallets as crappy gifts from about the age of 11-12. Of course they were pretty much useless as the typical amount of money I had at any given time was jingling in my pocket. Needless to say, I had a velcro wallet for some time. As I got older and matured, I did not want to be seen with a velcro walled that looked as if it was made from a basketball. Other than my time in the army, when my wallet typically got dirty or wet, I never had a velcro wallet again. I’d never buy anything remotely expensive, but it wouldn’t have velcro.

    Clownshoe here mocks working class people with his inexplicable pride at owning a cheap velcro wallet. Look at me, “I’m like one of those poor Wal-Mart shoppers!” The only thing about this which prevents his punchability factor from skyrocketing into the stratosphere is that he paid $2 for it. Though if it turns out it was $30, may he personaly experience the entire Boxer Rebellion on his face.

    “I attempt to cook a gourmet meal nearly every night.”

    Given that these people will call grilled cheese sandwiches “gourmet” so as to sell them for $6 a piece, I’m envisioning this guy attempting, and failing, to prepare Kraft EZ Mac and Cheese on a regular basis.

    “Dive bars own
    my heart.”

    Yet another way to mock the cultureless slobs that are the locals and working class people in general. It’s amazing they haven’t been seen in Harlem decked out in blackface.

    “I am out in LES usually every night that I am out, and I am much less
    interested in factitiously chichi venues as I am with the quiet elegance of presence. . .”

    Shut up. Salvage a shred of dignity.

    “Feel free to respond, lest of course, my asininity delivers me
    straight to the bottom of the stack. I live and paint in Chelsea.”

    Good going, Dickens. If you weren’t trying so hard to sound artistic and quirky, you might have sidestepped that run-on sentence. Asininity? No the noun you were looking for is douchebaggery.

    • Yeah, but how good is he at kickball?

      • Aww shit…that reminds me. Before reelin’ em in to Diehipster, you ought to have a little correspondence with these people. Ask them questions about kickball, tweed-wearing, zombie flash mobs, etc.

    • LOL great interpretations. To answer your question no I don’t email them the link and these responses come within 2 days not weeks.

      • On one hand I can see why you wouldn’t want to bust them, because it might make them more cautious in the future. On the other hand, the potential results and ensuing rage might outweigh that possibility. I mean these are the same people who apparently get their Ipads stolen on a regular basis; I don’t think they’re going to wise up. I’d love to see Ethan or whatever coming on here trying to defend his “clever discordancy”. I will counter him with my intelligent cacophany.

    • For fishing for hipsters you need a photo of a regular guy fishermanstanding on a dock, next to a hipster hanging upside down from a hook.

  4. YES, fishing for hipsters — love it. Been too long.

    • This is just sick. Fuck these people in the neck. I wish the worst on the couple and everyone who attended this offensive event – disease, real poverty, homelessness, everything.

    • I attended a wedding not too different from this. A friend fell decided to jump hip deep into the hipster pool and his Meghan took an educated, talented, hardworking member of society and turned him into a lump of hispter protoplasm.

      First – the invitation. A box of straw – with a balsa wood plaque (the edges were saw toothed
      for that homespun feel) handpainted and intentionally mispelled with backwards letters.

      The girl looked like a dust bowl depression era housewife. He stood at the altar with a blade of wheat out of his mouth.

      Drinks were pulled from a friggin’ pail and poured into Mason jars. We sat on bales of hay with tin plates holding our food.

      The wedding photo? bride and groom holding pitchforks.

      • Gah. I’m surprised that the minister didn’t end it with “You may now fuck your sister.” Sounds like Meghan was nostalgic for her childhood in Dogfelcher Falls, but didn’t want to admit it.

        • Honestly it was the most heinous event. I’ll never ever fault a couple for having a beef and beer at the local firehouse or a sandwich tray back at the house because they cannot afford to have a bash. I’m not a snob. in fact, the most memorable and fun weddings I ever attended were siple casual affairs.

          But my (ex)friend and his canklette were not hurting for money. Still – fancy weddings are more or less a waste of money. Like I said I really don’t care if you put out a plate of cheese and crackers. Just don’t rent a trailer, change into a tube top, black your teeth out to gain hipster points with your
          retarded friends. Essentially their wedding was a white minstrel show.

          Finally there were the parents. My heart went out to them. They were so embarrassed by their kids’
          behavior and thoughtlessness. A lot of people traveled a long way to attend the wedding. So they rounded up all the relatives and close friends and took them out for a decent meal.

          • I won’t fault couples for having cheap weddings, either. I’ve been there, too. That’s why I was so furious about the hobo wedding. It reminded me a lot of my yupster sister’s wedding, where her idiot husband passed out invitations to the reception to seemingly half of Wisconsin. The reception had about 500 people, and while my sister could see paying for a string quartet to play in the background, she claimed poverty when she budgeted one can of soda for every three guests. The entire spread consisted of one veggie tray, and since she was too cheap to pay for having tables set up, my brother and I were frantically setting up tables while the groom’s family was literally tapping their feet in impatience so they could sit down. Meanwhile, she’s literally clawing wedding presents out of peoples’ hands, mocking the inexpensive gifts and braying for more.

            This was also a really bad weekend, as my youngest brother was in a coma in a Milwaukee hospital after an idiot made a righthand turn from a left lane in front of my brother’s bike. At the time, he had a ten-percent chance of survival, and a five-percent chance of ever coming out of the coma. There’s a picture of the three conscious siblings at the wedding, with me in the best suit I had and my other brother in his Army dress blues. Eric had his saber out, and I was going for my sister’s throat, about ready to dump her into Lake Winnebago. We weren’t really joking.

          • I went to a relative’s wedding a few years back. Same situation. Both set of parents offered to ante up to give the kids a nice affair but they wouldn’t have it.

            The deal was this – any money put toward the wedding by the parents would have cut into the money given to them for a luxury cruise.

            As both you and I have said i will never fault people for having inexpensive weddings. But damn, if you’re gonna put out potato salad at least put out enough for everyone.

            The affair was held at a friend’s house. 50 people. No place to sit. It was so cramped the bar had to be set up on the fire escape. The amount of food available would have fed about ten-20 people.

            The lack of food was obvious, so people did not eat for fear of not leaving enough food for others.

            So there was food left over. And booze.

            On average since half the family drove from Brooklyn, Queens and Staten Island the gifts were on average about 200-300 each.

            So they made out like bandits. In fact they were counting the money on the front steps while people were inside sweating like pigs because they were too cheap to turn on the AC.

            Oh the lovely couple were not poor. A Beemer and Acura on the street. One’s a pharmacist and the other is an electrician.

            ..

      • Hipster Hee-Haw — Let’s make fun of the prole stereotypes in our head.

    • Occasionally while reading here I feel the responses (which I enjoy) are a little out of proportion to the offense.

      Not this time.

      The idea that these @sswipes think it’s “fun” to have a ’30′s Hobo Wedding as if the people who lost every damn thing they had, literally were just riding the rails because there wasn’t a kickball game in McCarren that day is so beyond the pale it makes my blood boil.

      I hope some day they find out what it’s like to really be hungry, and poor, and desperate./

    • Wow. What’s next? A 1940′s Warsaw ghetto wedding?
      Ah, forget I even said that — it will be next.

    • TTR, sorry, but you are WRONG- this isn’t the logical end. It’s merely halfway point in the hipster-to- annoying sanctimommy/parent transformation that many go through.

      After the hipsters have a wedding like this, they breed, so they can be “totally kewl” and have a baby at home, and then live blog and load the event onto You Tube. Not kidding. They watch the Ricki Lake movie “Business of Being Born”- a propaganda piece about how OBs are horrible, greedy bastards who want to hurt you, and now having a home birth is spiritual and empowering.

      It’s the “in thing” now to hire a midwife (almost all non nurse MWs have zero education and have only apprenticed with another know nothing for a few births), set up a kiddie pool in the living room, and have a baby in the disgusting water (ever seen what comes out at birth? It’s worse than toilet water). That many babies die because of this is no matter to them. (and being a non- nurse home birth MW is the ultimate hipster career. In some states you need no school, experience, or anything!)

      If the kid lives, this parent will then use it as a prop in their show, like any good hipster would (see “The Feminist Breeder” for a good example of this. She is not a feminist!.). The hipster will set up annoying things like “nurse ins” to torment normal people. Just like a hipster to turn something normal, like breast feeding a baby, into a performance and rebellious act!

      They also love to tell others what they are doing is wrong, or in hipster speak “create awareness and enlightenment”, aka harass parents that do things that they don’t agree with Give your babe a bottle in front of one, and it’s like you handed them rat poison! They love to be openly rude, hostile and snarky to mainstream parents, and think they are the most cultured and enlightened parent on earth.

      One can only hope their “gently disciplined” brats get a clue someday. Unless they run out of money, its unlikely.

      • I realize most men will not have these experiences, except for maybe the babies in bars thing. Women run into these sanctimommies All. The. Time.

      • “Give your babe a bottle in front of one, and it’s like you handed them rat poison!”

        I swear! Let those “progressive”, sanctimonious, hollier-than-thou twits even see that bottle and immediately they act like you are the scum of the earth…”Oh noooo, look, it’s the bottle-feeder!” Aside the fact that it’s none of their (or anyone else’s) business and aside the fact that it can be actually breast milk in that bottle and not the formula, there are so many reasons why so many mothers have to resort to formula. Many just can’t breastfeed – if you’re sick you can’t do it, if you take medication you can’t do it, if you have to undergo cancer treatment you can’t do it…sometimes there’s just no milk, sometimes the baby won’t latch on…hell, there’s a thousand and one reasons why a mother can’t or won’t breastfeed and has to give her baby formula, all of which elude these “progressives”, these preachy, judgmental, slack-jawed cunts. According to them the only reason a mother doesn’t breastfeed is because she’s either ignorant or selfish and doesn’t care about what’s best for her child. This just goes to show their complete detachment from reality, their inability to understand or to relate to anyone outside of their sheltered, comfortable, yet pathetic little existence. Fucking ivory tower yupster pieces of shit! They pop one baby out and suddenly they are experts on child-rearing telling us how to raise our kids…I just can’t put into words the rage, the pure blind rage I feel towards those “sanctimommies” as you so accurately call them.

        • Two incidents when my son was around 2 years old:

          First took place at the local Shoprite. There was a wonderful, sweet older woman who worked the customer service counter. when you stopped by she would fawn over kids anf give them a box of animal crackers. For my son this was the high point of the trip. One Saturday, i walk up to the service counter. Kid gets his treat. Then the woman leans over to a child in a stroller (the kid had to be about 5 years old) and hands her a box of crackers. What a mistake. The mother of this child was a “sanctimommy”. She threw an absolute fit screaming at this lady about poisoning her child with chemicals and then grabbed the box of crackers and threw them, missing the old woman’s head by about a foot.

          The second took place at Whole Foods. Again my kid was with me. I park the cart in the produce section. a saggy titted harpy does the same with her cart that held her little girl.
          The kids look at each other. My boy (closer to three years old now) loved DumDums. He had one in his mouth and the bitch was already giving me the stinkeye.

          My son then reaches into his pocket grabs a DumDum and hands it to the little girl.
          sanctimommy quickly grabs it hands it back to my son, looks at him and says, (did i mention he was two years old?) and says, “Some mommies and daddies care about what they feed their babies”.

          • The progressive dads are just as bad – went to the convinience store the other day to pick up some mini-muffins for my daughter, you know, the ones that come in small single packages, there are usually about 5-6 little muffins in one package, they make a perfect snack. My daughter takes them to school along with some fresh fruit/veggies and a carton of juice for a snack. She loves these muffins and she is a very picky eater (she was diagnosed with PDD and as our pediatrician and neurologist explained to me being very picky about foods, refusing to try new foods or eating only certain foods is a part of the disorder) and so I have to make sure that what she takes to school with her is something she likes and will actually eat. So I got the muffins and some croissants and cookies for myself (I got a major sweet tooth), put them on the counter and was waiting my turn. This bearded and moustached, pasty stick figure douche in cut-off denim shorts was standing next to me with his kid. He looks at my items and goes “Wow, that’s a lot of junk food”. Then looks at my daughter and sneers “Are these for you? Are you going to eat all of this?” My daughter and I just stared at him. I didn’t say anything because my daughter was with me and the only response I could think of started with “Motherfucker, who asked you?” and the rest consisted of even less kid-friendly words. For someone so obsessed with healthy lifestyle these judgemental fucks seem to neglect their teeth – minding your own business is about the best thing you can do to keep your teeth healthy (and intact).

            What harm can possibly come from an occasional muffin, or a cracker or a lollipop or two? As long as our children don’t eat boxes of them all day every day and we jump through all the hoops to get them to also eat carrots, peas, apples and such there’s nothing wrong with some sweets. There’s something wrong with these people though, these sanctimonious moms and dads, some weird form of obsessive compulsive disorder…Poor older lady :( She was just trying to be nice and meant no harm. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. Don’t want your child to eat the cracker or the candy someone offered – fine, thank the person who’s offering it and politely decline. But no, they have to throw a hissy fit, make sure we know that they think they are better than us and make better, healthier choices. What are you willing to bet that the Shoprite kid, the Whole foods kid and the convinience store kid are all on strictly organic vegan diet? Chemicals free, animal protein free, cruelty free and essential nutrients free. Dopey progressive parents!

          • As I’ve mentioned several times on the site, my eight year old is a competitive swimmer. He just finished summer league where he swam 90 minutes a day 5 days a week with a meet every Saturday. Save for two weeks and a week of baseball camp, He swims year round.

            In the fall it will be 4 days per week not including meets and skills lessons.

            On top of all of this he has gym class and the usual kid stuff going on.

            Most of the kids in his class play sports all year long but I’ll use my son’s team as an example since
            it’s what we deal with on a daily basis.

            Of all the food available to these kid’s at meets and practices, most of it is junk food.

            And the kids down the shit like it’s no tomorrow.

            Yesterday my son was at Phillies baseball came from 8AM to 3PM. Then he came home, changed and went for his skills lessons. As a treat we took him to Arby’s where he ate 2 roast beef sandwiches and half of my dinner, followed by a snack at home.

            He eats well, though. veggies, fruit, cereal throughout the day.

            This doesn’t bother us and neither does it bother the other parents and the coaches.

            The object here is vigorous exercise. The calories get burned off at an alarming rate and need to be replenished quickly.

            I mentioned the sale of junk food to his coaches – most of which were either on the National team or
            tried out for the Olympics. They shrugged and said, it’s no worse than what we ate”.

            Our strategy from day one was to monitor but not deny. If our kid had a bit too much soda or sweet stuff and asks for a snack we suggest fruit or yogurt. When he wants candy we don’t hand him the bag.

            We don’t show up at a birthday party with nutritional requirements. It’s a party..go nuts, kid!

            My heart goes out to the kids of sanct mommies and hipster parents. They’re denying their kids a childhood. Instead feeding him or her tree abrk (organic) and sitting on their asses all day doing crafts or learning Manadrin Chinese, sign them up for basketball and let ‘em have the goddamn double Mr. Softee cone.

          • Woah, talk about a lesson in how NOT to treat people trying to be nice to you!

            And why do all those sanctimommies and daddies look so unhealthy if they eat so well?

  5. “I have arrived in the artistic wonderland of Brooklyn, New York after reading many a blog post….”

    That is just gold. I love how none of the responses take her to task for this, as if it is the standard means of hipster relocation – reading how artistic, gritty, and kewl it is from a cul-de-sac transplant’s blog.

  6. Great responses but I think “urban hot mess of a man ” is just a bit much. That alone might be tipping them off. Perhaps a craiglist add proposing some wild ass art project flash mob organization project. Toppless-Tapas or Dress like your favorite childhood cartoon character flash mob. One might get amazing responses to that.

    • As genius as fishing for hipsters ALWAYS is, asking for help with the art collective/rooftop farm might be sending them running too. That sounds too much like REAL work and would seriously cut into their sitting around looking out the window at some shit coffee shop.

      • I feel I have to stretch it by putting ridiculous things like rooftop farms and fingerpainting to get ridiculous responses. I think if I put a simple ad like “tattood art lover 29 f Williamsburg” I would get way to many boring responses – which I get alot of anyway from my regular ads. I get Spanish and Italian guys from bushwick and Williamsburg simply looking for pussy that don’t proclaim to be Warhols and Dylans. The far-fetched ads and the desperate douchy hipster responses feed off each other and make a better post in my opinion even if it scares off some gems.

        • Dude, “urban hot mess of a man” is fucking perfect. Don’t second guess your instincts/

        • You’re absolutely correct. Don’t ever change.

        • I don’t know…kinda sounded like they all wanted pussy (except for that last response), rooftop garden and arts center were just added perks as they’d obviously prefer a like-minded urban exploring hipster pussy. They all seem very excited :))))) for what they think is a rooftop tomatoes growing, oboe playing, organic artisanal macchiato slurping fellow hipster pussy on an urban adventure. New to the “nabe”, too :))))

          I think “Meaghan” should write back to the one “sans tattoos” and make a “rendez-vous” – tell him to go to LES at 3 AM and wait there. I hear one can experience quite an urban adventure there at that particular hour.

  7. Hipsters are easily caught. Just use the words ‘vintage’

    btw, i did some snooping about those two scenewhores that run the icecream truck. they have some electro-indie-techno-disco band that looks like what happens when you mix acid and meth at the same time… with a shot of coke

  8. What does a girl have to do to find a guy into scavenging for “found art” and who likes to hang at a dive bar that only sells beer in cans?

  9. never begin a craigslist post with, “I am not a hipster…”

    • This is fantastic news. Did you read about the homeless chick who wrote a blog by sitting in Starbucks, writing a blog instead of finding a job? It was in the NYT. She wrote a book, saved money to go to Europe, but was “homeless”. Poor starbucks, they should tape their outlets!

      • notice the responses that are against the outlet blocking. They sound like fucking hipsters. Including the “freelancer” who needs to get out of the house yet goes into another building and hogs up tables that other customers can use. Besides, the average laptop can last for 3 – 4 hours and more if it’s an apple laptop (highly likely as they are hipsters) so why need an outlet? 3 hours in a Starbucks is too goddamn extreme.

        Someone with a ski mask should go in and start clubbing hipsters that set up shop in a Starbucks.

        • There’s laptops now that can do 10 hours on one battery charge.

          They’re not Apple though.

          • Those Asus Netbooks? Yeah I know but the average is still in the 3 – 4 hour range as netbooks and low end 15″ laptops occupy the same price range.

        • So now that Starbucks is onto the freeloading hipster Macbook campers, it makes me laugh hear them cry about how outlet blocking is so “passive aggressive”, waaahhh!

          I hope this trend continues and spreads, forcing out all those “freelancers” at “work” in a coffee shop.

    • Good. I find that many of the table hoggers don’t spend as much money as they do time in Starbucks anyway. Real customers have better things to do and would only stay for a half hour to an hour at MOST. That is if there’s a damn table available which, in many Starbucks around NYC, they are not.

      Same shit goes for the Barnes & Nobles here. Damn hipsters just sprawled out on the floor and give you a shit face if you make them give a clear passage through the aisles.

      • Someone used the phrase “Laptop hobos” in the comments on that page; I have to say, that’s pretty appropriate for the people who bring their offices in with them every day. And it ties in nicely with the wedding above.

      • I have friends who work for a couple of Barnes & Nobles in Dallas. When B&N made a big deal about offering free wifi, the response was nearly universal: “Great. Yet another thing to bring people in so they won’t spend money.”

        What really got me about the Starbucks situation was the number of shitheads who assume that each store is THEIRS. Not just in grabbing the paper and reading it for free, the way they used to do at Borders. I’ve seen at least two dipshits sneak into the back of a Starbucks to turn down the AC (or, in one case, to turn it up because he was cold), and I’m not surprised in the slightest about the ones bellowing for everyone else to shut up because they were conducting interviews. Interestingly, Kinko’s used to offer rental offices, so you could conduct real business for a few hours if you didn’t need to rent a full office for a month. It failed, mostly because of the twits who figured “Why not just go to Starbucks instead? It’s free.”

    • Let them go to the rude, local coffee shop for their free electricity! You know the place, where all the too cool for school 35 yr olds work, the ones who look at you like you have killed their dog anytime you order a drink.

      Starbucks has the money- blocking the outlets is just rude in this day and age. There have been numerous times my PC died and I needed a charge while visiting clients for work. BUT, I don’t buy one tea and sit there hogging 3 tables, for 5 hours either. I have an office and a living room of my own.

      Starbucks never had free wifi anywhere I’ve lived, which kept the vermin out. Having a password on the wifi, that is only good for an hour, with purchase, would also work.

      Leave it to hipsters to ruin something for everyone!

  10. Does anyone know where East Williamsburg is? Since when is their an East and West. I love when people say “oh im from West Williamsburg”, and me,a lifetime resident, is thinking …huh? where the fuck is that?

    Real Estate agents and their catchy east/west slogans. Marcy Projects is East Williamsburg too isn’t it? Go live there Megan, and dont worry about the gunshots, that’s just the “culture”

    • East Williamsburgh was actually the name given to northern portion of the Queens County side of the town of Ridgewood. It’s ironic, in a pipe cleaner physiqued hipster way, that douchebag realtors chose this contrived renaming of eastern Greenpoint, Bushwick and Wiscobraskatuckyburg as a selling point. First of all, the historical East Williamsburgh is not even in Brooklyn. There is no connection between the two. Secondly, it bordered Bushwick, not Williamsburg. Last, but most important, they can all go and fuck themselves while taking a dip in the English Kills. Maybe these scroungy ramen noodle-armed mutoids can do something for the environment soaking up the toxins.

      • I saw a bunch of them in Western Beef the other day. I used to be the only Gringo that shopped in there.

  11. Good shit!

  12. I think this is by the band “Rabble Rabble”. They have a series of four self-serving videos on You Tube.

    This is the first.

    Hopefully they will not breed.

    • Mormons show up at the end of the clip, and the ‘band’ diss them in predictable ways.

      I’m definitely with the Mormons.

  13. To take hipster fishing a step further, you might consider reeling ‘em in?

    For example, “Megan” could arrange an initial “date” with 20 or 30 would-be Joshes — all at once, in the same place.

    It would be like an involuntary flash-mob.

    Kind of ironic, eh?

    What happens next is between you and your God.

  14. A late entry – this can’t get anymore cliche:

    ** CRAIGSLIST ADVISORY — AVOID SCAMS BY DEALING LOCALLY
    ** Avoid: wiring money, cross-border deals, work-at-home
    ** Beware: cashier checks, money orders, escrow, shipping
    ** More Info: http://www.craigslist.org/about/scams.html

    greetings Megan, I recently relocated to Bushwick from Raleigh NC less than a year ago.  I came up for a part time job @ The Scratch Academy in Manhattan which is a DJ/digital music production school.  I came across your post on cl and it sounds like something I’d be really interested in discussing further.  I am out of town for work until Aug 26th but I’d love to chat via email if your interested.  I am a DJ and producer (obviously) and love anything related to the arts.  I was an assistant for Lee Hansley Gallery in Raleigh just before I moved and ran one of his satellite galleries that was open for special events.  I also used to own a small clothing & sneaker boutique which doubled as a gallery where we hosted art openings on the first friday of every month.  I love the idea of getting involved in the “scene” in Brooklyn and I have many friends that are tapped into the art world at various levels in the NY area.  Please feel free to contact me via email anytime if you think I could be of assistance and if you’d like to meet in person once I get back to BK I’d be glad to meet up somewhere.  I live on Cooper st. and I’m close to the J & L trains (Chauncey stop).  Hope to hear from you soon and good luck with everything!

    • It’s like he fell off the hipster cliche tree and hit every fucking branch.

      - recently relocated to ‘the shwick’ from a town outside of the metropolitan area
      - he relocated for a ‘part time’ job at a music school
      - He is a DJ
      - He is a producer
      - He says he is a producer ‘(obviously)’ to show Megan that he can be ironic and quirky
      - He loves anything related to the arts.
      - Was an assistant at an art gallery in cul-de-sac land (definition: intern)
      - He throws in that he did ‘special events’ (look at meeee)
      - He owned (failed at running) a small clothing & sneaker boutique (thanks trust fund)
      - The sneaker boutique doubled as a gallery for art openings
      - He loves the idea of getting involved in the ‘scene’ in New Brooklyn
      - He has many friends that have come to gentrify already, pretending to be involved in the ‘art world’
      - He is close to the J & L trains
      - He feels the need to mention his proximity to the J & L to up his hipster cred.

      I could go to the precinct house right now and have a sketch drawn up of this douchemonster based solely on the one paragraph he wrote, and probably be spot-on.

      LIKE YAH

      • Almost to the extent that he might have caught on and be fucking with us.

      • Yeah but he’s not an International DJ.

        What does this mean anyway – that he can spin records in 5 languages?

        • Hank Hill: Is everyone here a DJ?

          Peggy: …. Yes.

          From King of the Hill hipster episode “Ladies and Gentrification” (could be lady).

        • It’s easy to spin records in other languages. See, most recording equipment works the same way in virtually every country. That guy is an ass.

      • Ten bucks says he owns a pair of moon boots.

  15. I want to do an Austin version of this!

  16. poop

  17. I’m really enjoying the theme/design of your site. Do you ever run into any browser compatibility problems? A small number of my blog visitors have complained about my website not working correctly in Explorer but looks great in Opera. Do you have any solutions to help fix this problem?

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