73 thoughts on “Brooklyn & Not Brooklyn

  1. This is my fave yet.

  2. wtf is going on in ‘not bklyn’ photo? is that one of those kiddie pools? i REALLY don’t know–can someone explain?

  3. To Landlord:

    It looks to me like this worthless human is playing a child’s game…Twister in the rain. We have these ‘to cool for school’ creatures lurking around Austin, TX. All they are good for is raising rental prices and drinking cheap beer. They are so, so cool.

    Fucking Annoying.

    • Yeah landlord, that’s exactly what it is. A fully grown adult, staycationing in Brooklyn, raising our rents so he can play Twister in McCarren pool. Like Yah.

    • Boston: Are you here in Austin, where 45yr olds in too tight $200 jeans and scummy thrift world shirts, lunch at trailer parks with ironic names, eating $22 artisinal sandwiches, in wolly hats, when it’s 104deg? These same 45yr old teenagers that give you dirty looks if you dare to wear something other than the dirty hipster uniform? ME TOO! We should meet up at Barton Springs and drown some rats- at around 2pm of course :-) (LOL)

      Hipsters are not Austin. Austin may have always been weird, but weird doesn’t = hipster. Leslie* is weird, old hippies are weird, crazy young techhies are weird, but hipsters are unoriginal losers. They have co-opted things that plenty of normal people do as their own- like riding a bike (not a fixed gear, as thats just stupid in a hilly city), tattoos, being in a band, doing art, or wearing Chuck Taylors. This makes them look more numerous than they actually are.

      Today’s hipster sighting- a pasty white hipster on a super old motorcycle (ironic), wearing goofy boots with purple and black argyle socks pulled up to his knees, bed head wih bed bugs, dirty tight shorts, a see through 70′s style thrift store shirt (that really cost $175), with an ancient box strapped to the back of his bike (ironic, again). I waited until he was distractedly scratching his filthy head, and I ran him over like the bed bugs he carries. It left a film of grease and bug juice on my car, but it was worth it ;-)

      (* if you don’t know who Leslie is, look it up)

  4. Twister in the rain – how whimsical and creative.

  5. These fucking hipster pieces of shit are invading Flushing, QUeens. I’ve seen these cultural vampires up and down roosevelt/main street/ kissena at all hours of the day. It seems that Flushing is one of the last urban settings with an ethnic/non elitist feel that these big kids havent sucked the life force out of. You can spot a hipster between the thousands and thousands of people on main street with ease. They’re there/here and it doesn’t seem to be letting up this summer.

    • We need a bunch of Asians to terrorize these Hipster fucks. Try to get your Flushing asians involved.

      • Yes! get the Asians involved..the more gangsta the better…I’m serious. Lets see how these hipster asswipes contend when they try to invade someone elses turf with their snarky attitudes and idiotic behaviors…man, there will be blood….Flushing should beg them to bring it, then watch the chaos ensue…

      • quote:
        We need a bunch of Asians to terrorize these Hipster fucks. Try to get your Flushing asians involved.

        oh but they ARE Grasshopper, they ARE… If Josh, Conner, and Emma think they can flit around all summer on a free internship at Vogue (at 35 years old)… wait, Vogue? no… they could never get an internship there. i mean at an internship at The Village Voice… wait.. nah, even that cant be… ooooooh All three got an internship this summer at that black and white photocopied at kinkos thing you might see in random coffeeshops around the city… wait you dont see those? you mean you dont patronize places that charge 5 bux for a simple cup of joe!? what? youre completely so trashy and dont realize the importance of the free trade coffee bean movement, DUH!. At the end of the summer J,C,&E will have SO much MORE real life experience than any of those Asians (like ah. mah. gawwwwd!!! they are like SOOOO GROOSSSS they live in nabes without [insert everything you hate here] two blocks away) who are plugging away and learning REAL LIFE ECONOMICS AND SKILLS!

        It is not just asians BTW who are taking notice of these loafers these days, it’s EVERYONE. trust me… who’s going to trade schools these days? (like ooooooh my god, you mean i have to with my haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaands on something that doesnt involve a vagina shaped ceramics wheel!? nooooooooo)… who is doing what and where and why. stupid ass pampered kids (adults) are gonna be left in the fucking DUST when the dust settles. and part of me doesnt even have a problem with that anymore.

        *rob*

        • and they LOVE throwing around the buzzword “unsustainable”. they will use it to describe ANYTHING they are against. but you know what REALLY isnt sustainable?!!! THEIR lifestyles! Welcome to real life.

          *rob*

          • Thats some UN scam. “Sustainable”. Thats another word for low class people get out of the country and stuffed into city. Low class as in economic class, not table manners. Check it out “Agenda 21″.

    • The locals will never allow these jackasses to transform the flushing landscape like they have in Brooklyn.

      • We need a bunch of Asians to terrorize these Hipster fucks. Try to get your Flushing asians involved.

        @I hate Hipsters, are you sure? I’m Asian, what plagues us is docility. I hope your right, send some strength over. We in Flushing need it.

      • Too late. There are plans for a pedestrian/ bike only type thing for Flushing and when I venture into Flushing to catch the train I’m seeing a slow increase of woody allen types walking around with their stupid megans. It gets worse as you take the 7 train near Woodside and beyond. Hipster central. A hipster even had the nerve to take a photo of someone having a medical emergency instead of using his phone to dial 911 a while back.

        • quote:
          A hipster even had the nerve to take a photo of someone having a medical emergency instead of using his phone to dial 911 a while back.

          that really REALLY annoys me for some reason, but it’s so true and typical. the worst is when they actually get in the way of emergency personel and cops/firefighters trying to do their job…

          *rob*

    • Yes, I’ve seen a bunch of them hitting up the local noodle shops around Flushing, especially on Tuesday when I was trying to get dinner. They were so loud and annoying as fuck. I’m just wondering where the people from the projects nearby are when these dimwits come by.

      The mayor and John Liu have been making Main St. worse and more hipster friendly by the day.

    • They are spreading like a virus.

      New Videogame: Residential Evil 6 “Project: Hipster Extermination”

  6. In the spirit of Brooklyn/Not Brooklyn, here is a Bk/Not Bk Hipster Beating;

    Brooklyn:
    -Today, I saw Quinn, the artisinal rooftop hummus internist, trying to teach his dog WiFi to fetch his American Spirits from his power rangers napsack – so I grabbed a stickball bat, tossed waif boy in the air, smacked him back to Ohio, and freed WiFi from the clutches of gentrification. End of story.

    Not Brooklyn:
    Today, Parker, Harrison, Ethan, Josh, Zoey, and Megan met with me in McCarren to organize a protest of Peter Lugers. Like yah, we think they have to get with the times, and if they want us to allow them to remain in New Brooklyn, they are going to have to do the following;
    -institute free valet parking for fixies
    -immediately offer a vegan only seating section
    -alter the menu to offer a wide selection of locally crafted organic artisinal products, made with love on the rooftops of Billy and The Schwick
    -host our weekly kickball league awards ceremony free of cost
    For protest sign creation, we will be spending weekdays from noon – 4:30pm making multiple trips to art supply stores, as this is the time when we are all available. Since Maximillian is an intern for a production assistant, we will use his connections to have all media outlets give us the attention we deserve as creative little difference makers who are making the world a better place.
    End of Story

    • LOL

    • I’m in stitches.

    • Ah: so “Not Brooklyn” should be renamed “New Portland”?

    • “Billy and The Schwick”

      hearing those two “nabes” said like that together scares the FUCK out of me. it almost sound poetic in some kind of fucked up post apocalyptic way. *erasing from memory, NOW*
      tho i wouldnt be shocked if there’s 4000 mac laptops plugged into coffeeshops all around brooklyn right now typing out that screenplay/movie/performance art piece with that exact name. scary. (copyright that shit and call them out on it!) tho im sure they will all be there on premiere night bleeting and gloating over themselves and not even realizing the actual hate that is involved.

      *rob*

      • Who says the word “nabe” IRL? Billy and Shwick? Huh? Thats just horrible. I miss the old Bushwick, where stupid hipsters would have gotten rolled for their igoods the minute they stepped on the block.

        • A lot of the newspapers and publications are using “nabe” to describe the friendly neighborhoods of NYC while the rough areas are referred to as “that side of town” or “the projects” or lower income areas.

          Time Out NY, Daily News and NY Times are the worst offenders.

      • Don’t worry after the movie premiere of B & the S, the whole scene will reach critical mass. Once it has been scoped on a national level they will be exposed for being the charlatans that they are, and the movement will shrivel away. It worked when Singles withered Seattle and it can happen here.

    • WELL DONE! 5 STARS! DH, Im thinking we have a new category!

  7. Seems to me that a game of twister might have these ass toads in some compromising positions. Perfect opportunity for some ball crushing or foot-up-the-ass retaliation if you ask me.

  8. Twister must be mad easy when youre built like a pipe cleaner. the guy in the photo is not as pipe cleaner-y as most of them tho… kinda looks like he’s losing his balance.

    *rob*

    • You gotta remember, they might be small and skinny, but they have no balance, since they don’t perform any kind of physical activity.

  9. the thing in the back is either a fat one sucking his own dick (i mean why not a pic is being taken of him!?!?) or it’s the not so rare species of Meganchondrian Canklesaurus Rexica captured in captivity. where the fuck is national geographic on location when you need them!?!?

    *rob*

  10. and the one on the far right is wearing what looks like an adult diaper :-/ how apropos…

    *rob*

  11. my real question is this. WHO with an OUNCE of dignity in them would allow themselves to partake in this and let it be photographed? and im not one of those people who dont do stupid things, i do them all the time, but there is just something SO infantile about this that it’s almost sad. it’s like what the fuck ever, if you wanna do this, do it on your luxury rooftop or in your own apartment, why subject other people to this bullshit? if this was legit performance art i could understand, but in reality it looks like nothing more than. wow it’s a rainy day outside on a wednesday at 230 in the afternoon let’s go outside and make spectacles of ourselves while nurses, bus drivers, cops, EMT’s, fire fighters, 24 hour bodega workers and school kids are just getting out of their day shifts.

    i hope one of them in that picture got stuck with a stray hypodermic needle during this pathetic display of infantalism and suburban nostalgia. that’s horrible to say i know… but really WTF plays TWISTER!?! that’s what people play in their basements when there’s nothing to do and mommy and daddy are out at some key party and cant drive you anywhere!

    okay, im gonna go have dinner and relax and stop hating..

    *rob*

    • “i hope one of them in that picture got stuck with a stray hypodermic needle during this pathetic display of infantalism and suburban nostalgia.”

      So do I.

      • LOL! don’t you know the hipsters have collected all the hypodermics to make an ‘art’ installation from?

      • im right tho, right!?! this is the kind of thing (game?) you whip out when you are hanging out with people who experienced that as kids cuz you sorta kinda bond around the memories. like taking out an old school video game system or putting on some music that bonded to back in the day. you do NOT go out and buy (i am SURE they went to toys r us and paid 50 bux for this twister game) and then whip it out in the middle of a fucking park. NO ONE AROUND YOU (well who knows) SHARES THOSE MEMORIES. NO ONE CARES! except the person you asked to take pictures of you for your blog. seriously! im just gonna buy a generator and start playing street fighter II on the fucking R train tomorrow during rush hour because, well, that is what is important, Street Fighter II…. not everyone else trying to enjoy the park… the park, a place to get AWAY from stuff, not to GO TO to have to deal with fucking losers with nothing else to do.

        picture it… the year 2032… youre enjoying a nice PUBLIC park but some asshole comes out with his pokemon collection and wants to play against you. WTF!?! while that could be funny nostalgia (sad), please take that shit back to your apartment?! parks, public spaces, etc are supposed to be neutral places for people in dense areas to enjoy themselves not be subjected to shit like that. the funny thing is that the the dicknozzle in that picture is probably someone 2 years away from moving into a new condo who complains about anything and everything that assaults his delicate senses. you cant have it both ways bitches, not in the city, OR the suburbs. funny that, they aint liked anywhere.

        *rob*

        • You know what gets me though? There are signs being put up that adults are no longer allowed to be in the parks unless they are accompanying a child. Small parks with playgrounds usually have the sign up. An issue was brought up a while back when some old timers were getting kicked out of the parks while playing chess.

          How do these hipster fucks get away with being in a park during children’s play hours?

          • because they are big children?

            I don’t know, but it’s hipsters who make the complaints in the first place. SUCH bullshit.

            The chess article was written about on “Free Range Kids”, a website dedicated to preserving the childhoods of old days. Don’t let the name scare you off, it’s a good site.

  12. Having a union construction job, I am home at 230 quite frequently. And let me tell you, the hipsters are out in McCarren park in full force at this time. Its actually kind of funny when the high school across the street gets out. You have all the white, adult, yuppies in the park, and all the black kids on the other side of the fence getting ushered to the subways by cops.

    I am white by the way. Not trying to make this a black white thing, its just that, as we all know, most hipsters are white.

    • so you know exactly what i am talking about. i dont normally take the subway at that hour (9-5 here) but on the few occassions where i have taken it around that time ive seen able bodied young men (always, ALWAYS the types this website makes fun of) not give up a seat on a crowded train for someone who OBVIOUSLY just got off a long ass shift on their feet all day. it’s SO obvious when someone is coming off their shift of a hard day’s work when it’s not the normal 9-5 type thing. I dont see this much on the R but i did always see this on the 1 train when i used to take that one. these were hardworking people, give up your damn seat… most of them politely say it’s okay anyway.

      on the flip side (shit u not) i’ve been on the R train in the mornings where there have been women (im not a women hater so shut up) rub their bellies and make a Rmmmmf Rmmf Rmmg noise and stare right down at you and you look up and their stomachs are straight as a board. but then you say would you like a seat and they are like, uuuuuuuuuuum, noooooo. wtf? you cant win in this city! some pregnant women take it as an insult if you offer your seat. like i said, you really cant win in this city.

      *rob*

      • Normal pregnant women would have accepted that seat faster than you could bat an eye! I’m a feminist, and I appreciate manners and offers of kindness. Hipster canklesaurouses wouldn’t understand manners, or urban etiquette.

        • It’s usually the hard working old timers and some of the minorities giving up their seats for injured, old, or pregnant women. I remember being on the downtown 1 train and the hipster filth wouldn’t get up off their seats for a pregnant woman. They were sitting in the seats designated for such people. I get up as well as an old Italian looking guy. Woman takes my seat and old guy tells me to take his. I refuse and he refuses to sit back down. A standing hipster plops down before a tired looking woman gets a chance to make it to the seat.

          • The old guy didn’t keep quiet and asked the hipster “what’s the matter with you.” The hipster said he was tired too. My response was “you must feel like a real man.” The only response from him was “whatever.” The tired looking woman said it was fine.

  13. This one takes the trophy home. Real men playing a thinking man’s game, and a rain soaked hipster playing Twister AND getting his week’s bathing done.

    • “getting his week’s bathing done”

      well they do like to pretend they are such hardcore multi-taskers, no?

      *rob*

    • You know that these people that play chess are getting kicked out of the parks now? Apparently they can’t be around when children are present. It was in the Daily News some time ago and the city’s excuse was that it was dangerous and a bad influence on the kids.

      The article noted that a young child learned to play chess because of these old timers there. I wish I could find the article.

  14. Does anyone know what do you call those type of Hipsters that work on film sets? I call them “HIP SETS” down here in Wall Street. It’s hilarious when they use my building for a movie and they get off on the 23rd floor like they are HOT shit because they are doing a movie. Talking loud with their nasaly voices and holding their Tall Grande Starbucks coffee. FUCK YOU Hipsters. We all know you guys are getting paid $7 an hr. The movie industry is overrated and overpriced.

    • Those production assistants are one of my worse pet peeves. For some reason, my block always gets picked when some cable TV channel show needs an “authentic neighborhood” location. Probably because it’s close to Manhattan and Williamsburg, so the location scouts are likely to stumble across it without going too far.

      Anyway I don’t know how many times some string cheese armed gnome bearded, grover bodied, 20 20 vision spectacles wearing, perma-allergies nasal voice talking tryhard PA with a headset has told me I can’t walk down my own fucking block. They have this attitude like you’re dealing with Steven Spielberg himself! If there aren’t any cops on the block, I just shove them out of the way in order to enjoy the sound of their passive aggressive nasal whines.

      • I actually do shove them out of my way if I live in the area or when I was heading to college. Fuckers made me late for class one day and I shoved the guy back to the barricade and threatened to punch the living shit out of him after he tried to grab my arm and latching onto my duffel bag. Cop hauls me in looks at my ID that says John Jay College of Criminal Justice and tells me my professor should be kinda reasonable and I got off because the dipshit touched me first, that and the road wasn’t actually closed off. I got chewed out because the prof hates being interrupted with late comers.

        If they’re only preparing the set and not shooting then leave me the fuck alone. I know it helps our economy but seriously us lower class folk have to get to work.

        • DON’T call yourself “lower class” that is exactly what they want. youre going to class and getting an education (probably in something that isnt stupid). they all majored in something stupid and are 35 year old interns. THEY are the lower class.

          *rob*

          • It’s the sad truth that we are the lower economic class. Hard working people like us don’t get to go to expensive liberal arts colleges for phony majors and then going off for a staycation in an expensive part of town. What’s worse is that NYC starts off Forensics/ NYPD people at $30 – 40k with dwindling benefits.

            I love how the news goes on about a large number of college grads are unemployed. What they don’t mention are their majors and experience in their major. Once you get to see their faces then it dawns on you that many of them are the unsustainable shits we’ve all come to hate. Fucking no child left behind and that damn “everybody’s a winner” mentality.

          • Hey Im at John Jay right now doing forensic psych. Ill take my future degree from John Jay and cram it down the throat of any fucking hipster dufus with a degree in organic film/art criticism and a minor in eastern bloc fair trade feminist studies. Im not saying you arent but I wear my Bloodhound shirt with busting pride. Fuck them.

          • Forensic Science here. There are virtually no hipsters in the school (if there are I never saw them) but venture south on 10th and you’ve got quite a few. It’s disgusting how the city is spending tons of money on making the hiptards happy while the rates of everything else are going up and pay is going down.

    • A while ago I posted about some filming that was going on near my office on Broadway and Vesey Street. There were 3 pompous, bearded “production assistants” sprawled out on the curb, acting ever-so-important while clutching their Starbucks and engaged in some loud nasal conversation about obscure indie bands, when one of those big white screens they were suppose to be in charge of began to fall. They all panicked, spilled their $12 coffees all over themselves, and tried to gain control of the big screen with their toothpick arms. The screen then came crashing down on the sidewalk, almost hitting a few pedestrians and knocking these worthless weasels on their asses. The real guy in charge screamed and belittled their $4/hour service as he ripped them a new asshole. Everyone on the street were laughing at them, even a family of German tourists who were all wearing matching capris.

    • 7 dollars an hour!? please, they are working for FREE. fashion, film, journalism, etc, all those industries know there’s no shortage of people who move to nyc to “get discovered” and gain “valuable real work experience” who are willing to work for free. i mean hells why not? if your rent and bills are paid for and you get an allowance (at 35) why not flit around all day on a film shoot!?!

      *rob*

      • i think 7.25 is also minimum wage. the film industry would be REAMED if they only paid minimum wage. thus everyone is an intern. fucking retards who put up with that. internships are fine when you are in college, but when youre 10 years out of college and doing paid internships you have mental defects.

        *rob*

  15. the funny thing is that people used to come to NYC to try and work in film, fashion, journalism, etc (i mean that is what a lot of NYC is known for right?) but they ALWAYS worked on the side as waiters/waitresses, acting, bartenders, hells even stripping. something has to pay the bills while youre following your dream! now everyone comes here trying to break into those industries with complete parental support and allowances, it’s f’ing gross. what the fuck ever happened to the struggle that makes your artistic dreams worth it in the end if you are lucky to actually make it? the problem is now every single person that comes here is an “artist”. im sorry, but NO, NOT everyone is an artist. such a sham.

    and also, newsflash, one doesnt have to move to nyc and push everyone out and raise the fucking rents x10 to make you an artist. you can do art anywhere you want and some of the best artists these days do NOT live NYC and other trendy places.

    *rob*

    • I know some natives that have moved to places like Ohio to continue education, work, and be able to afford rent. In fact I heard that there is a music scene of major city transplants that have started bands and such. Its almost like trading places.

      • Denver has become a hot-spot for east coast musician transplants; unfortunately, they tend to show up here and complain non-stop about the “scene”. Oh well.

  16. Fantastic! I love the Brooklyn & Not Brooklyn series! Love the site and the good work!

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