Today, I saw a thick-framed, rent raising, bottle rocket bodied cupcakeologist struggling to keep the closing doors open as he tried to get on the L train which shuttles him from E.Village record shops to Bushwick progressive post modern sustainable art galleries. So I crane kicked him Daniel-san style so hard that he sharted out his 2pm granola and soy milk breakfast. End of story.
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“2pm granola and soy milk breakfast”…HAHAHAHAHA!
Fucking hipsters. Suck my dick.
I still wanna hand out ex-lax cupcakes to these losers. And a bedbug infested scarf.
These hipster beatings just get better and better.
And I will truly know there is a god when I see one of these redbeard Joshes get his PLO scarf stuck in the closing door, choking him out as real Brooklyn kids rifle through his pockets and take his I-Pad and MacBook out of his power rangers napsack.
When I rode the Trains in the 80s and 90s I was more worried about gang fights between the blacks, Hispanics and the few whites while trying to get back to my white trash hood with a box cutter in my pocket. Do you know what I would give to put a Hipster on my trains back than? They have no clue……
Yep, remeber those days – when I was a kid, the thought of taking the subway at the wrong time would practically have me shitting my pants.
These hipsters would just be absolute food.
Economies are getting worse and society is more depraved so you’ll see some shit like this. Granted surveillance is more sophisticated these days. So keep smashing.
The fact that police officers are coming in to Brooklyn to protect these dweebs is ridiculous. Where were those screw balls when the real fights and gunshots were happening in the streets.These hipsters have it made.
It’s not like these hipsters have any taxable income that somehow makes the city of New York any richer…
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/opinion/opedcolumnists/why_ny_future_is_fleeing_v4535f5BZTMQJSc4maz1qL
Why New York’s future is fleeing
Nowhere near enough jobs for the younger generation
Funny, they blame medical unions for driving up the cost of Medicare but nothing about hipsters driving up the cost of rent. Typical pro-business shitheads at the NYP.
Still, it bears out what I’ve been saying all along, namely how does a young person even start out in NYC today without a trust fund??? And how about NOT wanting to sleep in a bunk with 4 other beardo Megans for $4,000/month???
I just don’t understand why they all want to keep coming to Brooklyn, “the artistic Mecca of the World”. These Drama Studies/History of Art Museum Curation/Film Theory/Critical Experimental Performance Art Studies/Ceramicist MFA’s have very unrealistic expectations of the job market for those fields here. They believe that they (and the 80,000 others like them) are going to slide right into high paying, high profile jobs immediately upon moving here.
So until they get “discovered”, rather than take a job waiting tables, or at a library or something(because that would be “beneath” them) they’ll just play video games all day, drink on rooftops all night, watch stupid performance art with fugly megans fumbling can openers and shoving baked beans into their orifices as “performance art”. In other words, doing a whole lot of nothing.
And yes, they could never do any of this WITHOUT Daddy’s money “helping” them. Daddy and Mommy believe their Snowflakes are entitled to the big jobs too. They don’t want their Precious working as a cashier at a supermarket until he gets his big break, oh the horror.
im 30 something years old, was born in jersey city, live in nyc now and have for over 10 years after college. it’s kinda scary how they like coming to nyc and will WORK FOR FREE! aka internships and how many industries exploit them. you have NO idea how much parental support these people have, NO CLUE! LOTS! most landlords wont even rent out to people with normal credit scores, they want a guarantor. even if youre 35. wtf? it’s like, no my parents (grandparents are poorer than i am) and WHY would they want to take on some sort of liability in nyc again? fuck them
*rob*
My dad’s from Jersey City, still has a house there. These subsidized ‘creative’ wannabes have infested gentrified Downtown JC like crazy the past few years. They just opened a Barcade there as well which attracts them like hipsters to shit.
Barcades are like my dream hangout, my girlfriend and I are pinball FREAKS, and they just opened one in Denver. So we headed down there to see what kind of machines they had.
We stayed maybe 15 minutes and spent like $2. I have never seen a hipster infestation quite like it, they were riding skateboards in the bar, loitering around the machines we wanted to play and wouldn’t move, and eyeball fucking me because I was wearing a Denver Broncos sweatshirt. I wanted to get into a fight so badly it hurt me to my soul.
As we were walking out and up the ramp to the street, a needledick hipster stumbled into my girlfriend, and she shoved him off. Instead of saying “excuse me”, he says “watch where you’re walking, THANK YOOOOOU!” in that nasally tone. She pointed at his girlfriend and laughed.
the concept of a barcade is SOOOOO nice (ive actually been to the one in williamsnurg cuz i love old video games) but in reality it winds up being nothing more than a roach motel
*rob*
I found this today;
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/26/urban-outfitters-steal_n_867604.html – Urban Outfitters Continues their Grand Tradition of Ripping Off Designers.
No wonder hipsters love them so much…fellow ripoffsters.
Am I supposed to feel sorry for those ripped-off designers or laugh that they’re ripping off Etsy losers?
I’d laugh at the irony. I’ve been lectured by enough douchey hipster friends of friends that I harbor no pity whatsoever.
Remember that “Gender Neutral” baby?
Well, how about, like calling your, like baby like so it’s, like hears it’s, like name, like 2,000 times an hour?
http://www.nbcbayarea.com/blogs/press-here/Facebook-Obsessed-Couple-Names-Baby-Like-121901284.html
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/25/dining/new-restaurants-in-long-island-city-queens.html?_r=1&ref=dining
The disease is spreading….
It spread a long time ago, and, like anthrax spores hidden in the soil for centuries, it is starting to become active.
I think every town and city has always had latent elements of this type of pretentious crap, but now it’s coming out of the closet.
Brooklyn was just patient zero.
LMFAO “patient zero”
*rob*
One of you gave me a good idea, but instead of bedbug infested scarfs, we could just go old west on them and do the smallpox thing like we did to the Indians. Even though it’s curable now, it’s still a pretty sucky disease to have and leaves really heinous scars. Who’s with me? Oh, and as far as these fuckwads working for free, believe me, you get what you pay for. Nobody that’s any good at what they do is doing it for nothing.
Smallpox is not curable.
I love this site but Im afraid we are slowly losing this war to the Hipsters. Their numbers are staggering! They are organizing in every cow town and wheat field across the Midwest! Take back our Cities! Its not too late!!
Perhaps we could secede from the Union? That way, if we do succeed, we can push out every Yuppie Hipster scumbag out of our towns and cities, and stick ‘em right back in Dogfelcher Falls where they belong.
sure is butthurt on this site.
you’re all so mad it’s funny as hell.
Shit, you sure told them Hipster. all hail to the internet tough guy! Where would we be without you?
You’d be swallowing Ethan’s nut in the alley behind your house. Was this supposed to be a trick question?
Help a Hipster out!
http://kck.st/lT6egm
Apparently, It’s gonna be super fun!
And!!! if you pledge $192 dollars or more, you’ll receive a skinny dipping session for 3!
I can’t imagine that any hipster who thinks this is a good idea has enough knowledge of chlorine chemistry to keep that thing from being either a festering cesspool of nastiness, or a fucking acid bath. I wouldn’t get in one of those with a submarine on my balls.
I’ll give the hipster a tip to help him keep his buddies safe: Dose NaClO mg/L = (total demand + residual required).
dose (lbs NaClO) = (mg/l x millions of gallons x 8.34)/.05 (typical liquid chlorine bleach is 5% sodium hypochlorite)
So, if that trailer holds 100 gallons of water, and you want to maintain a concentration of, say, 4.0 mg/L, the equation looks like this:
lbs NaClO = (4.0 x 0.0001 x 8.34)/.05
That means, if there’s no demand placed on the chlorine content of the water by microorganisms, chemicals, or inorganics, he’ll need to add .07 lbs of 5% chlorine.
But wait, it’s a liquid, how will he know how much to pour in?
OK, take that .07 lbs, and multiply that by the weight of a gallon of bleach, which is similar to water, 8.34lbs. That gives you .56 gallons. So, dump a half a gallon of Clorox into the water before anyone gets into it to make it safe for multiple people to bathe in. Woo hoo!, right?
Nope. Better get out your chlorine test strips, hipster kid. As soon as 2 of your homeys get into that thing, all the funk from their bodies that gets into the water is gonna tie up all that chlorine, and pretty soon, you are back to where you started. But it’s no big deal, right?
Oh, better test the pH of the water. Before and during the soak. If your pH is higher than 8, now instead of having luscious hypochlorous acid (HOCL) to kill all them germs, you simply have hypochlorite ion (OCL+), which cant kill shit.
I want to meet a hipster that would put that much thought into not spreading communicable diseases to all his friends. Wait…maybe I shouldn’t have told them how to not share pathogens…
Man, that’s like, complimikated!!!
(Then again, so’s making Crystal Meth and the rednecks manage that somehow).
OK, here’s a simpler solution. Go to Home Depot. Buy a few crates of Muriatic (Hydrochloric) Acid. Dump the whole lot of it in the pool (after making sure there’s no exposed metal) and jump in.
Darwin will take care of the rest.
Gee, and after all the careful budgeting work, the concise Powerpoint presentation, and the detailed AutoCad drawings …
… Who could say no to their lazy, half-assed stoner time-wasting ideas?
Well, me for starters.
“No” — it’s a concept these hipsters were probably never taught. Luckily for us, they don’t need to understand it, for us to impose it.
A few irritating things here. Mostly, one can’t comment unless one contributes. As hipster can’t SHUT THE FUCK UP this is probably a good strategy. Well, they claim to both be form the same town in Oregon so why the fuck could they not go to Portland? But mostly, they seem to plan to take water directly from hydrants. That, my friends, is illegal and dangerous. Perhaps they might need that water for fighting fires. But no, the hipsters want to tap right into that. BTW, even in New York, in July, water from the hydrant is really, really cold. So if they are planning to take this bacteria frape from site to site and fill it on the spot it will be unusable. If they had any kind of education with a modicome of science they would know shit like this.
The water from the hydrant will have a chlorine residual of no less than 0.2mg/L, which is perfectly fine for drinking water, but as soon as you put a human body in it, it’s no longer chlorinated at all.
Look, we all had backyard kiddie pools as children, filled them with the hose, no big deal. But sharing a bathtub with a bunch of hippies? Yuck.
Also, they’re going to HAVE to fill it on site. Water weighs 8.34 lbs per gallon. For it to accommodate even one person, it will have to be 4′x4′x3′, or 48 cu.ft. With 7.48 gallons per cubic foot, that’s 360 gallons. The water alone would weigh 3000lbs. Tow THAT with a fucking fixie bike!
So yeah, every time they have to fill it up, they’re using 360+ gallons of drinking water. I guess if they skip a flush of their toilet once per day for every customer they see, for an entire year, they could keep this idea “sustainable”.
The AWWA lists the average daily indoor water use per capita at around 70 gallons. If I used 360 gallons of water a day, my water bill would be fucking infinity.
Another totally ridiculous idea by a hipster that had zero thought put into it. If they had paid even a little bit of attention in 8th grade math class, they wouldn’t have event thought twice about it.
Remember, we’re talking about the kind of people that make a big deal about being intellectual and clever, but will then boast about their poor mathematics skills.
In a regular conversation, the most fun thing to do is to make a similar “boast” about not reading many books, and to watch their face change colour. In real life, I’m with you guys: just let nature take its course.
Oh, and dumping chlorinated water into a sewer register is HIGHLY illegal, so they’re going to have to use a shit ton of sodium thiosulfate to de-chlorinate before they dump. That’s a federal fine if they get caught. Idiots.
I hope the rest of Brooklyn knows who to call when/if these guys pull this shit. It’d be a recorded confrontation between the authorities and a couple of nasally voiced whiners with an overblown sense of self-entitlement. In other words, hilarious.
The EPA Region 2 office is at 290 Broadway, and their telephone number is 877-251-4575.
The NY Dept. of Environmental Conservation can be reached at 1-800-847-7332.
In my experience, polluters get fucked the hardest when the state agency and the Feds engage in a pissing contest over who gets to jack them up first…so be sure to call them both.
As I said – when they do something that can be reported, report them. They are so used to being above it all that they would have no idea what hit them.
“… this bacteria frappé …”
I think I just dynamically shit myself. FTW!
I bet the weld they make for the hook up will break under the low tork of a fixie. “Well Nietzsche never said anything about shielding gas and filler metal”. Fucking hipwads couldn’t learn a trade to save their life.
yeah, they only seem to know the meaninglessness of life…except when something directly affects them such as what will come as a result of said shielding gas and filler metal, then it becomes a precious thing that they rally for in support of 8,000 pages of even more government regulation.
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/riselee/the-original-cowboy-comb-yeehaw
Sadly, this will probably sell.
Oh, Wow…..
“Limited Edition Stainless Steel Gold Finished Cowboy Comb”
a small part of me just died.
Yeah, because when I think of pasty, trend-following sheep, with eccentric grooming habits, using idiotic novelty items … I think of cowboys.
Time for Al Swearengen’s input, again:
I am waiting for your response, diehipster.
http://diehipster.wordpress.com/2010/10/18/wrong-train-you-fucking-i-sheep/
Excellent.
They’re so talented and universally appealing, in fact…let’s put them on Kingston-Throop in Brooklyn and have them perform this song. The fellas down there don’t often get a chance to hear real good live music like this. I’m sure they would appreciate it. I love how they act like they reinvented the wheel by creating a “band” out of their apple products because their old apple products were stolen. Maybe they were stolen because people got sick of hearing your annoying look at me shit on their rides to work. BTW notice the Megan sitting behind them who knows the words too. They picked the right train I guess. Get jobs.
Ugh. The last thing I want to do on a subway is have to sit through some sort of show. Some of us are on there strictly to get from point A to point B. I suppose they’d be unfamiliar with having to do anything like that; having to actually ride public transportation to get to work or to school, the sort of thing mere mortals here in the mainstream have to put up with.
On the upside, they’re apparently scared of Baltimore, because we’re still a mostly black city. They’ll watch the Wire, and that’s as close as they’ll ever come to riding the Metro here.
I don’t mind subway musicians if they’re talented, if it’s not rush hour or late night and the train’s not crowded. I always give a buck or two to the Mexican mariachi bands who work the 7 train because those guys are serious professionals who know not to overstay their welcome. They’ve got it down to a science: verse-chorus-verse-bridge-chorus in the two minutes it takes the train to go between stops, then they pass the hat real quick and move on to the next car.
My comment got cut off, what I was going to add is that those guys are light years away from some bearded kazoolaphone maestro who wants everyone on the train to give him their undivided attention from Union Square all the way to Gowanus.
Check this out. Urban Outfitters took simple Ramen noodles, put them in “edgy” packaging with curse words, changed the price to $5 bucks (for a package of Ramen!!) and sold them to hipsters. They eventually marked them down to about $2.25 a pack. Which is about 5x times the prices without the hipster packaging.
http://www.boingboing.net/2011/05/30/urban-outfitters-5-r.html
i posted this a while ago. lol in flushing queens those piece of shit bottom of the barel ramen are 6 for a dollar.
You know, I’m definitely not the only one on here to say this, but I’ve HAD IT with these fucksters. Every time I see one of the Wonderbread slices skipping down the street I nearly have a stroke. They’re filthy, pretentious, elitist, racist, arrogant sons of bitches! I want to do something to get rid of them (or at least contain the mass contaminant) but I don’t want to get arrested. I’m thinking about getting involved in city council in order to deal with this problem. Anyone have any suggestions? Also, I’m curious, once Bloomberg is out of the picture, what do you think will become of this dreaded Wonderbread plague?
heavily HEAVILY taxing interstate trust funds. why not? we will get some money and keep some of them the fuck out.
*rob*
Well, Anthony Weiner said he may run for mayor and the first thing he would do is have a ribbon cutting ceremony for all the bike lanes he would close. Thats a start. after that just go all Guilliani on their ass and play small-ball. Fine the open containers, joint smoking, cafe tables on the street, noise complaints, cut their bike locks, crack down on their interfering with public egress on the subway, street busking, indecent exposure for the no pants subway ride, building inspections of their illegal houseboats & trailer parks, health hazard their chicken coops, zombie parades without a permit, loitering, public drunkenness and a general crackdown on overcrowded housing. Thats a start,no?
Maybe you guys saw this already. Frankly, I’m at a loss for words.
Pseudo bad ass piece of shit hipster fucks.
Do they ever do anything constructive, ever?
Looks like some people watched a little too much Jackass.
That actually looks kinda fun. Dress in a bear costume so that no one can identify you and just go out and start smashing hipsters. I’m in. And before all you sympathizers jump in and tell me that “that’s not our way dude, violence against anyone isn’t cool”, I will say, it is my way so shut up. I’m sick of their smug pretentious asses spending all day in the world of make believe. I used to fight (box) and had to learn the craft and science of fighting. I had to get knocked around to learn some respect and I think it would do them a world of good to get their bells rung once or twice. These are the same types of assholes who pay 2 homeless men to fight each other just for their amusement.
http://www.fandango.com/battleforbrooklyn_144898/movieoverview