54 thoughts on “Just moments before…Today’s hipster beating.

  1. Try punt kicking the attention-starved idiot over and listening to the brittle bones break into a thousand little pieces like we do to the chopstick-limbed unicyclists in SF. ‘Dooring’ them works equally well if they ever venture off the safety of the sidewalks and onto the street where they should be. Oh wait, traffic laws don’t apply to them because they are minimizing their carbon footprints…

  2. Every bike I ever had was made of all stolen or found bike parts. Most stolen. My bikes as a Kid (sorry as an adult I dont ride the Big front wheel little back wheel like Monty Burns on the simpsons) actually were so fucked up they looked like that bike. The sad part it was a reality.

  3. First jam a Louisville Slugger into the spokes of the big wheel and as he’s flipping off his Look-At-Me Bike take a Reggie Jackson swing and knock him over that fence.

  4. Westside Highway?

  5. Liberated-Flatbush training wheels are being rooftop whittled in a basement near captain sir different wheels a-lot as we type.

  6. Man . . . something’s actually worse than the Tall Bike (2 or more frames welded on top of one another, for those who haven’t had the pleasure). I really wish – I mean REALLY wish – that I had the kind of money and free time required to devote myself to ludicrously impractical pastimes like these.

  7. Look on the bright side – this could evolve into the urban version of “cow tipping”.

    I wonder how long before they demand the city install special steps so these ass clowns can moutn their bikes.


    I’d love to see someone carry that thing upto a 3rd floor apartment.

  8. Pweshus snowfwake is really begging for a fucking smack. I’m sure the line of those willing to oblige goes around the block.

  9. What a pathetic piece of trash.

    “Look at me look at me!! I’m different and unique cause I have this stupid antique piece of crap that I can’t even peddle and don’t care whose way I get into because I’m being green but in a different, unique and special way…LOOK AT ME…oh cool someone took my photo…now everyone in the world will see how different and unique I am…oh…I think I just creamed myself.”

    Please…do Queens a favor and quarantine them in Brooklyn…sorry diehipster…we have to hold the line here somehow.

    • I understand. I already drew my line on a map dividing north and south Brooklyn. Which reminds me, I need to post my monthly reminder to the unique people. Thanks pal.

      • What we need is a colony to dump them into. al-Anbar province in Iraq is sparsely populated. We can parachute in some retro trailers and dump them off there.

  10. I’ve seen this guy, or one of his cronies, they are all identical and impossible to discriminate. I was regaling this native brooklyner I work with of the big front wheel bike guy and he was in utter disbelief. I’m going to send him this link.

  11. The Hassids are goingto have a field day with this one.

  12. That photo has just sent me on a kill-crazy frenzy. I hope you’re happy.

  13. I’m just shaking my head in disgust and disbelief right now.

  14. Gaywad on a velocipede. Look at me!

    • CHild abuse. Reportable.

    • Dear Lord.

    • Awww fuck me. Jesus H….”don’t ask don’t tell” for toddlers?

      These people need to go….

    • “How to ensure your baby boy grows up to be a tranny prostitute.”

      • Well, now we really know how our pwechious widdle shnowfwake Stevie came to be.

    • From the article:

      “Last year, they spent two weeks in Cuba, living with local families and learning about the revolution.”

      I wonder if these delusional cretins bothered to learn about the prisons and labour camps, to which their beloved communist police-state sends homosexuals and transvestites?

      After all, their sons should know the kind of progressive future they have to look forward to.

      Yes, these children are our future — which is why I spend Sunday afternoons practising at the firing range.

  15. I’ve seen them wobbling around on unicycles as well. There should be some kind of an experiment to see which is easier to kick over.

  16. I know it’s been a long time since I’ve seen “The Warriors” but don’t y’all still have street gangs to take care of these vermin?

  17. This is gonna make your head explode.

    • I’ve seen this before, and it still boggles my mind. As an artist, I’m extremely offended. Not because it was “obscene” (I don’t consider Robert Mapplethorpe offensive), but because of how mindless and pointless and self-indulgent and ridiculous it was. I could list so many other adjectives.

      I just don’t know. I’ve given up on my generation.

      • My issue with this clip is not necessarily the attention starved prat/artist. History is full of no talent slobs with an overwhelming sense of self.

        No I take issue with the fawning lemmings who are encouraging this worthless skank.

        I’m sick of galleries, critics and poseurs praising worthless hacks who can only shock and insult instead of real talents.

        They show up for this shit but ridicule tourists for seeing “Blue Man Group” or “Stomp”.

        • “Young artists should pursue an education in the liberal arts as well as technical training in drawing, painting, and sculpture. We have more than a few fine Catholic liberal arts colleges and university programs in this country. Finding training in technique is more difficult. There are several art academies in the United States and Europe that focus on training artists in traditional methods and techniques. These schools are good in general, but tend to focus exclusively on form. They fail to foster the conceptualization of artistic ideas. This can result in superb technicians without anything to say. The best experience is gained by working in the studio of a master artist. The apprentice is usually working on the master’s own work and therefore will learn to do things correctly or be thrown back out on the street, albeit without having to repay student loans.”

          In other words…not much different than in
          Raphael’s day..

          You’ll see many posts on this site related to craft, apprentices, etc.

          Craft – true craft – is dying. no one wants to learn and everyone wants to make their mark right out of the gate without paying their dues or building a solid foundation of skill and experience.

          Nothing torques my nut sack more than when I walk through a craft show and see an empty booth with a silversmith working with confidence, speed and skill making a piece of jewelery while in the next booth Meghan and zoey are cleaning up – dipping Tic tacs into red ink, tying baling wire to them and
          selling them as tampon jewelery.

          • Chicago Represent!
            The School of the Art Institute – one of my alma maters. I’m so proud.

    • Head: Exploded.

      At least the 50′s beatnik chicks had awesome racks.

    • LOL @ jennie humphrey from gossip girl being in the audience.


  18. Must. Beat. Mercilessly.

  19. I saw some swizzle-stick looking lad practicing his unicycle around the corner from my office at Kaufman, in Astoria. The plague has spread north. Terminate with extreme prejudice.

    • I think what amazes me most about this article is that Woolworths is Australia’s largest employer??

      • Yeah, that’s what I thought, too. But apparently it’s a different Woolworth’s that doesn’t have a connection to the old North American one.

        • Oh word. Makes sense. I don’t know if it’s true but I’ve also heard that there’s a chain of Target stores over there too that’s not related to ours.

  20. So I see this scarf-and-racing-gloves wearing, Haskell Wexler wanna-be hipster screaming “look at me!!!!” by insisting on making his own bike lane in the middle of an as-yet-ungentrified Brooklyn street on a 19th-century Victorian bicycle. So I throw a tire iron into the spokes, connect the front lugnut of the bike wheel to my DeWalt 13mm VSR power drill, and spin it at 3,000 rpm as I use the spokes to grind up the hipster’s face into a red, gooey mush. End of story.

  21. at first i had no words…then it occurred to me that it would be cool to see him run over by a truck

  22. Imagine all the sweet spoke cards this baby could house!

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