The amount of money generated over the word “organic’ over the last decade is insane. By far, the largest contributor to the ‘organic’ pot of gold is the hipster. These morons have eaten it up badly. They try to conceal it but they can’t hide their glow from me after entering a subway car with $900 worth of groceries in two brown paper Whole Foods bags. I just glance over, grin, and say to myself ”damn you’re a stupid fuck”. I mean, I always compare completely ridiculous hipster behavior to teenage behavior. Who else but a teenager could be sucked into something so easily like let’s say smoking cigarettes? It amazes me that all these ‘converted to organic’ people don’t realize that they’ve eaten mass produced, chemically sprayed and engineered fruits and veggies all their lives and they’re perfectly fine!
I’m telling you. I’m really really really close to venturing out and selling something absolutely useless and ridiculous to these mouth-breathing, rent raising, Brooklyn invading sheep. I truly believe there is a fortune to be made. I also believe finding the idea is not that hard either. Hummus flavored gum. Bacon-scented Converse shoelaces. Recycled sustainable Q-tips. Local dog food. Kharma-flavored natural sodas. Absinthe-based deodorant etc, etc.