Fishing for Hipsters

Yeah it’s been a while so I got the old fishing rod out and went fishing for hipsters again. The responses were pretty good. May have been better in the past but still pretty good. I even got a couple of angry Brooklynites to respond and one person even knew it was me! So this time I pretended to be ‘Megz’ a woman from Oregon who used to sell her organic pet food out of a booth and is now beginning her Brooklyn gentrification vacation. Here was my post on Craigslist

Live and breathe art with me… – 29 (Billyburg)



 

Date: 2010-07-18, 9:08AM EDT
 



 
 

Hello potential artsy and cultured boy,

29/F. I’m completely amazed by the vibe and culture of Williamsburg and Bushwick. Ideas flow more freely when youre surrounded by such talent. I’ve been here for 2 months. I sold my little organic pet supply store, well booth really, in Oregon and moved here. I share a pretty spacious loft with my old college friend, she should be single soon too when her boyfriend moves back home to Michigan lol.

Im super into art and artisanal cooking. Would like a boy who knows some good local and sustainable eating places and music venues to show me. I’m currently an aid to an assistant events coordinator for this small start up art gallery in Bushwick. Yesterday I went to see if anything good was playing at Siren Fest in Coney Island. It was OK however we got off the train to get some liquor. I think it was Avenue U or something. Wow what a weird place and bland too. I was like, is this still Brooklyn? Just so many foreigners and people working and bustling through the streets with their families and going to stores. It just lacked the kind of culture you find up in the North section of Brooklyn. I couldn’t live there.

Please have roughly the same interests as me and be edgy and different and creative. You must tell me about yourself. Emails that just say Hi Baby with a picture will be ignored. If you sound interesting I’ll reply with a pic. Well I need to go down and get my latte. I wouldn’t be up so early but I have to pick up a friend from the airport. I await you .

Megz

Here are just some of the e-mail responses I got:

 
Hey,

I am creative edgy and artistic and work as a creative professional…What brought you to NYC?  Where in Oregon are you from?  Did you go to school? Can you describe yourself physically, tattoos?

*

  Burning spear is playing a free show on Wednesday night, I saw him play last year and it was amazing.

 

I’ve been living in wburg for a few months now as well, I used to live in Manhattan and don’t know how I lasted there so long.  I’m 26; and moved into the city a few years ago to study yoga. 

Funny you went to the siren fest yesterday I rode my bike down there to go to swimming, were there any good bands? 

* 

hi, love the northwest and ny too.  seattle actually.  I sculpt and consult.   spent a decent time in oregon too.  i was planning to hangout in W’burg tomorrow to see some art and stroll — have a beer. I am 38 so not really a boy.  dark hair and eyes.  Like strong coffee, a good pint and food for sure.Until soon or your email back to me. 

*

 

Hi my name is Henry. I know what you mean about ave. U. There are some great places in brooklyn. Have you been to down town brooklyn? It is great. I did send you my picture, but it was sent back because the file is too big for CL. I have black hair, dark brown eyes, dimples, and have an athletic build. Let’s see what things we can find to do together. Maybe we can talk and get to know each other over a cup of coffee. Thank you for reading. 

* 

How cool is it that you are in New York now? Welcome. I felt the same way when I first got here 7 years ago, was sharing a 1500 square foot loft with friends in Bushwick with friends, getting my degree in journalism and working for a literary agent. This is a wonderful place, with the best food art and culture you can find this side of Paris or Madrid. 

These days I work a lot and study for my M.A. at NYU. I try to get out for a jog or hit up a yoga class several times a week too — I guess I like to be on the busy side as it lets me know I’m alive. :) I’ll sleep when I’m dead. 

Today I’m going with friends to the 3rd ward pig roast to meet a ton of people and hear bands (they have the greatest parties), and then to the brooklyn waterfront for the free bands (and dodgeball!) and the best view ever. I’m not vegetarian or anything, but I am all about great food, and great living. In a month I’m going to Paris for 10 days to relax. I like to travel a lot and can’t wait to find a job that makes me do that, so I can snap a million pictures and do my silly writing or whatever it is that catches my fancy. 

* 

I elected to forward this photo because it makes me appear enlightened. I of course have little to no chance of eliciting any interest from you but your spirit struck me and I value spirit in others. I am on the endless quest for those that imagineer and envision a world – experiences – beyond their own 4 corner-ed universe. Never remain cornered. Break out, break up, break through.  I write but of course, in order to earn a living, I do the professional thing. I live outside Manhattan: another curse. I am a single and music-obsessed former radio disc jockey, drummer, guitarist and computer artist. All enormously fulfilling, none enormously great for feeding myself. Which is not to comment in any manner negatively on your lifestyle, which rather impresses me like a summer’s breeze through the sweltering weather of the stifling economy. I admire and credit you for being brave, leaving your Oregonian home and striking out in a manner few do in their lifetimes. Do not fear but pursue. 
So with those jumbled words of comment and commentary, I propose that on your ever-lengthening lists of friends in the area, perhaps you consider adding at least someone that’s not out for anything other than good conversation a few evenings every now and then, art wandering, cocktail tipping and a few laughs. I have zero ulterior agendas except for human and cool companionship every so often.  I’m actually blindingly busy all the time and drowning in work so these walks or talks or chat and chews would be a way for me to break the surface of the drowning pool to gulp in air of friendship and thinking and laughter… 

* 

Hi there, 

I just read your ad and felt intrigued by it and compelled to reply. I could go on and on about my likes and dislikes but let us start with a brief description and if it piques your attention then I will be more than happy to continue. I do not want to waste my time or yours. 

About me, 32 years old, inked, brown eyes, brown hair, yada, yada, yada.
I have been in NYC for almost 4 years now and loving it.
I work in the music industry

cheers 

* 

ex-organic pet supply girl,
well, you sound brilliant – !
 

i am a 37 year old single white male, with brown hair and blue eyes…
i am college educated, well-read and am a good conversationalist. i have traveled to many different parts of the world and have many interests, including art, painting, cinema, politics and sports, among other things… i have a dog as well!
 

i own a small design firm. my loft is right by union square. 

so – let me know if you’re interested-let’s meet and get to know each other a bit better…! 

cheers! 

* 

First off, good luck with your search for a boyfriend. Dating in New
York can be hard, especially if you’re misinformed and completely
ignorant to your surroundings as you seem to be.
 

Williamsburg/Bushwick have been hispanic neighborhoods for the past 50
years, before that it was polish. The pop- counter vomit of people
from Ohio and Oregon, people like YOU, has caused them to loose their
homes, raise their rents, and force out local family businesses
replacing them with “luxury condo lofts.” Maybe if you looked around
your friends Art Gallery in bushwick you could see some art with a
little more meaning? How about the save our home street art on
Knickerbocker and Myrtle… or the Bushwick Community Garden which
gives free clothes, and fresh organic produce to local families who
are struggling as a result of the struggling economy and this swift
gentrification.
 

To say that the neighborhoods Coney Island and Brighton Beach are
lacking culture is ridiculous, it makes you sound like a vapid little
brat. The people in those area’s are of mostly Russian Decent, most of
them are Americans! Many people prefer to keep their languages, art,
cuisine, and CULTURE intact. Do you think that “Hipster’s” shopping at
organic planet and buying old vinyl is much different than a Russian
Mother shopping at a fruit market with her children? You’re the
foreigner, don’t you get it?
 
If you weren’t so narrow minded maybe you could meet someone in
public. A lot of the of the more attractive, intelligent men in this
area appreciate a woman who is a lot more aware of her surroundings.
What makes you think you’re edgy, different, creative? You’re living
in the same community with a bunch of people who are JUST LIKE YOU in
most ways. Perhaps you’re different than the Russians, the Domincans,
The Puerto ricans, the suits in midtown, and the italians, but you’re
not different than any other vintage nuevo-art slave in the burg.
Don’t fool yourself. If you were creative you wouldn’t be so content
in your little box.
 

Explore
give back to the community you’ve stolen or
at least appreciate real culture
make yourself belong to something bigger
or go back to Oregon and sell dog food.
 

*

 

Either that was written on purpose for laughs or you are really really clueless about Brooklyn and people.
 
*

you got to be kidding me.  please, go back to oregon or some other hippie granola loving place.  the vibe and culture of williamsburg and bushwick?  you want edgy, different and creative, sorry kid, but you’re about 10 years late to the party. it disgusts me to see all the hipster wanna be artists and what they’ve done to those neighborhoods. you’re just every other sheep, go ahead follow the pack.

yeah, all you little american apparel kids really add lots of culture up there in north brooklyn.  i’d take the russians out in brighton beach/ coney island/ sheepeshead bay area over your kind any day.  if i had the same interests as you, i certainly wouldnt be different, and neither are you.  please, bitch, get ahold of yourself.  sooner or later you’ll realize that you cant make it in ny and you’ll be where you belong, someplace else.

*

DIE HIPSTER! HA HA I can’t wait to see what kind of toolboxes respond to this!

*

Hey There Meg,
 
     I found your post on CL interesting and quite amusing. Through your correspondense & musing’s I can tell your self absorb, a brat, culturally lacking and deprived intellectually.
 
     Native of Williamsburg with a complete grasp of the present and fully appreciative of all that life (Brooklyn) has to offer. Graham Avanue guy from the nieghborhood. Sane, sincere, for real…Unfortunately, my one bedroom isn’t a level playing field with your “loft”. 
 
     I think we can click (lol)!
 
     If you feeling me and can unhinge yourself from that “Latte”, we’ll do a tour of the bodega’s in the area. I’m almost positive you’ve never entered one.
 
     If you feeling me and want to prove me wrong, hit me back.
 
     Let’s do the “Apolo” on Grand street for a bluey?………(you probably never had one of those)
 
     You are such a B*tch, but I think I like you…………

64 thoughts on “Fishing for Hipsters

  1. Yup, you’re pretty pathetic. You could do the same with “Fishing for Guidos” or “Fishing for Frat-boys” or whatever you want. It’s still the same lowest-of-the-low idiotic gimmick for cheap laughs. Of course you can always get this type of laugh on CL because it is CL afterall. And speaking of CL, don’t you remember that you recruited all your fans from the Rants and Raves section? And that after several years, it is STILL only these dozen or so regulars still, who act like a bunch of special ed knuckleheads and give all Brooklyn natives a bad name? Nobody with any type of intelligence takes you Brooklyn native idiots seriously. Funny how you can no longer post on there anymore, or in Philly, or Boston, etc. because people have grown wise of your idiocy and flag you off on the spot. Even the NYTimes has you banned because you’re nothing but a frothing at the mouth Brooklyn native idiot.

    • Guidos and frat boys: pay their own rent, pay their own bills, have no trouble finding or holding a job, understand how to bathe, have at least a modicum of social skills.

      Inbred hipster-yuppie mutants who come to Brooklyn from a pig farm in BFE: …………..

    • Steve/Trey,

      Just think about this for a sec. You literally scan multiple cities on Craigslist looking for anti-hipster posts, then you flag them with your multiple accounts to have them removed so the rest of the public doesn’t get to read them and realize what a disease hipsters are. And now you’re trying to give credit to complete strangers for doing the flagging when you are the only one who actually does it? How much time do you fucking have? And how obsessive and disturbed can you be?

      I know our words don’t hurt you because you’ve already admitted to yourself that you are a pathetic 24/7 troll. So our insults mean nothing at this point. You’ve been bathing in your insecurities for over 20 years now wishing you were somebody else. Now you are just the broken record mascot of diehipster.com. Now fix your scarf, put on some eyeliner and start flagin’ on CL. I’ve placed 12 diehipster.com links in 12 different cities, GET TO WORK!

      • You clearly don’t understand how the internet works. When you flag a post on CL, it logs your IP address. Opening up different CL accounts won’t help because you’ll still be on the same IP. So unless someone has access to dozens of different computers on different ISP’s, CL posts that get flagged and removed are NOT the work of just ONE person. Next time you spam CL with your whiny hipster-this hipster-that BS and get immediately flagged and removed, it’s because the ENTIRE CL community is sick of hearing your idiotic drivel. This exactly is why after years of spamming CL, you’ve only managed to recruit ONLY about a dozen or so knuckle-dragging, bottom-of-the-barrel loyal followers that post their tired rants daily, to give every other respectable native Brooklynites a bad name.

        • Do you even need a high school diploma to get into Humber College?

        • Hey Stevie,

          Little question here:
          How come you went from an IT degree to a Web Design diploma to a diploma mill? That’s some major downgrading. I know. I have an IT degree. All the idiots who couldn’t hack it all went into Web Design.

          And what does “Graduated: N/A” mean? Didn’t you graduate?

          Inquiring minds (not like yours) need to know.
          ———————————————————-
          * ALGONQUIN COLLEGE
          o Nepean, Canada
          o Graduated: N/A
          o Student status: Alumni
          o Degree: Professional
          o Major: Digital Studio Web / Graphic Design
          2005 to 2007

          * UNIVERSITY OF OTTAWA
          o Ottawa, Canada
          o Graduated: N/A
          o Student status: Alumni
          o Major: Comp Sci
          o Minor: Poli Sci
          1999 to 2005

          * BROCKVILLE COLLEGIATE
          o Brockville, Canada
          o Graduated: N/A
          o Student status: Alumni
          1994 to 1999

          Read more: http://www.myspace.com/notstevelam#ixzz0ulWEJy5t

          • Back to the “You’re Steve Lam, you’re Steve Lam” broken-record response I see? You guys are SUCH an easily-baited bunch of internet rejects. I’m actually beginning to think you’re all closet-case homophobes. Clearly something is frustrating the hell out of you that runs much deeper than “hipsters”. But just look at how many posts per day you make, all focused on hipsters. You’re clearly OBSESSED and do nothing but spend ALL your time online, scouring the internet for data on hipsters to post on here. You’re bigger “hipster” fans than the “hipsters” themselves. What a joke.

          • Yes Back to the “You’re Steve Lam” broken-record response. See Stevie, it’s because we know it’s you. You’re response is so predictable.

            I mean, if you’re not Steve Lam (which you are) why would you even respond? Why would you get your ladies panties in a twist if you weren’t busted.

            Anyway, why did you go from an IT degree to a non-degree art school to a diploma mill?

            Inquiring minds still want to know.

    • “Pathetic” – you gave yourself the perfect moniker, Stevie, good job. You should stick with that one – it’s perfect for you.

    • Just like people havent taken your sorry scrawny ass serious for the past 6 years with all your sock puppets and all that other stupid shit you try to pull,

      Atleast Diehipster has fans and supporters and gets media attention from other sites ,magazines and newspapers, while sad little steve lameass doesnt get a single view of attention from anyone.

      now go back to trolling the web like you always do,you pumpkinhead emaciated musty looking assrag

    • Go fuck yourself, Steve.

    • Really? I’ve linked this website to other sites and I always get responses like, “Yea that website is great, so happy I found it a couple months ago…”

      And I never even knew diehipster used to write on the rant/raves section. I’m just a fan who happened to stumble in here one day when broslikethissite turned me on to the digustingness that is hipsters.

      http://www.broslikethissite.com/2009/11/89-hating-hipsters.html

      Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
      A: It’s a really obscure number, you’ve probably never heard of it.

  2. From reading that ad, I picture the imaginary “Megz” to look about as attractive as roadkill. It’s amazing that any male would be interested in a female like that. Just goes to show how fucking desperate for female company some men in this city are (yupsters especially).

  3. HAHAHAHHAA! This shit writes itself.

    “I’m 26; and moved into the city a few years ago to study yoga.”

    “I am creative edgy and artistic and work as a creative professional”

    “I sculpt and consult.”

    “I work in the music industry”

    “In a month I’m going to Paris for 10 days to relax. I like to travel a lot and can’t wait to find a job that makes me do that, so I can snap a million pictures and do my silly writing or whatever it is that catches my fancy.”

    What a bunch of pretentious and parentally-funded douchebags. It’s fucking amazing how so many of these “creative travelers” who replied are seemingly jobless yet sell themselves as creative professional juggernauts. What a joke.

    The anti-Megz replies show you exactly how much these worthless fuckfaces are unwelcomed here.

    • That’s what really cheered me. It’s not just that “hipster” is a profanity. It’s that people are finally standing up and telling them “stay the fuck back in Oregon.”

    • I remember reading an article in the NYT a few years back about how ELEVEN Americans were sharing one apartment in Paris, just to make ends meet.

      Paris is one of the most expensive cities on the planet. And they use Euros, a hard currency.

      I forget the full details now but it sure made me laugh out loud when I read it.

  4. Your_Cul-De-Sac_Street_Smarts_Are_The_Reason_Why_Your_I-Gadgets_Get-Snatched_Away_From_You_On_A_Daily_Basis

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Next time offer to sell a Manhattan or Brooklyn (New York State) birth certificate online and see how many responses you will get.

    They all want to be New Yorkers so some of the responses you will get should be very intersting.

    • Hahaha.. they would all love to claim they were born here yet at the same time they insist on maintaining their privileged suburban hillbilly mannerisms and nasal bumpkin twangs.

      To paraphrase Paul Mooney: “Everybody wanna be a New Yorker, but don’t nobody wanna be a New Yorker.” You know what I mean??

    • You just inspired a marketing ploy. Remember the “Cabbage Patch Dolls” back in the 70s?

      Cabbage Patch Hipsters?

      Adopt a Cabbage Patch Hipster. He/She was born on my birthday, 45 years earlier than me. He/She can’t wash or dress him/her self…… I can just hear the cash registers ringing already. :)

  5. Your_Cul-De-Sac_Street_Smarts_Are_The_Reason_Why_Your_I-Gadgets_Get-Snatched_Away_From_You_On_A_Daily_Basis

    Yeah I know what you mean I have some family from New York but they all live in Florida now.

    Havent spoken to them in years.

    Hopefully before they left they all cashed in at the expense of some trendy yupster assholes.

  6. I don’t even feel like a New Yorker anymore and I have family who have been here for over 160 years. Christ there is a street in the Bronx named after my family. Everytime I go back to NY I feel like I do not belong because of these pieces of shit. Thing is I know where they all come from, due to work I have been living in the towns they come from. Every week I see some yuppie mother bragging about her kids moving to NY and giving me dirty looks when I am getting coffee with my thick accent. Most of my family has been pushed out of NY, i feel like New Yorkers are Palestinians and the Hipsters are Isreal.

    • Nah Israeli girls are hot… I feel you Starberrys. That’s why I generally stay uptown where I live or in Queens where my family and friends are. Going downtown or to Brooklyn just makes me want to go “Falling Down.”

    • The NYC we all grew up with is fucking dead. The end began with Guiliani’s obscene “cleansing”, the selling of Times Square to Disney, and finished with 9/11 and the rapid gentrification afterwards. NYC is now like every other fucking city that’s been grossly warped and sold out the working class to instill overhyped and homogenized yupster neighborhoods. I know some longtime families that have been priced out further away because their rent wasn’t protected just so some parentally-funded dipshit transplant could live in a trendy “nabe”. Other friends moved because the city has become a haven for overpriced pretentiousness and has lost its heart and soul and its distinctive authenticity. I do look forward though to collecting rent from these douchebags when I decide to move – but until then I stay only because of work and family.

  7. Your_Cul-De-Sac_Street_Smarts_Are_The_Reason_Why_Your_I-Gadgets_Get-Snatched_Away_From_You_On_A_Daily_Basis

    Yeah the city is one giant amusement park for these wanna-be urban pieces of shit. They giggle and snicker at real life people who have real life problems. Then they videotape it and post it on YouTube.

  8. *sniff*

    This is fucking beautiful.

    *wipes a tear*

  9. Jesus. You’d have to have your head all the way up your colon not to know that ad was breaking fucking ballz.

  10. those first responses cant be real. they just…..they cant be. people dont REALLY talk like that do they (or write)? I mean…I really dont fuck with hipsters. So I am not in the know. Someone inform me.

    People REALLY take their awesomeness that seriously? REALLY?

    http://www.ihearditonatshirt.wordpress.com

    • They are all real responses.

      • Every worthless douche with a digital camera and a blog backed with a little unearned funding seems to be a “creative professional”. Even when there wasn’t a massive recession going on – high paying creative positions weren’t that easy to come by – you had to pay your dues and earn your title. Some of the talented creative veterans I know are struggling in today’s economic climate and with the high cost of living in NYC. But some how, every-fucking-goofy-moron in gentrified Brooklyn claims to be a high-ranking creative professional. There simply are no jobs available in the creative field that will allot a transplant with zero experience and zero talent to live the pretentious-high rent paying-world traveling-drink and eat out every night-lifestyle that they all seem to live. They are fakes, interns at best, living in some bullshit subsidized fantasy world where they can make-believe they’re something that most people had to earn.

        • What’s equally amusing is when these darlings actually get the chance to interview for a real creative position. I’ve been listening to one such example, who’s blaming age discrimination as the reason why she can’t get a cushy position. “They see some grey hair and lose interest.” No, they take a look at your resume and note “This looks like a resume for an English major fresh out of college who doesn’t know shit about shit.” The last thing they want is a feckless fiftysomething whose most stable job history involves working in a bookstore that’s been dead for nearly twenty years.

          Likewise, it’s amusing listening to the yammering among Those Who Know about how blogging is dying. In other words, “now that everyone else is doing it, I’m not the center of the universe any more. Hence, I’m going to jump into the latest indulgent Cat Piss Man game that allows me to pretend I’m a trendsetter.” Could it be that nobody was willing to subsidize them for their engrossing reports on what they had for breakfast?

  11. You should post the pics those idiots sent you. :P

  12. Granted Gawker attracts Hipsters, sometimes people on their comment section make some really good points. Take a look at this and scroll down, someone makes the point that Hipsters who make fun of Guidos are pretty much copying to some degree the way Guidos used to dress in the 80s.

    http://tv.gawker.com/5595926/jersey-shore-before-the-jersey-shore

  13. Your_Cul-De-Sac_Street_Smarts_Are_The_Reason_Why_Your_I-Gadgets_Get-Snatched_Away_From_You_On_A_Daily_Basis

    Nothing hipsters do is original.

    They all try to dress the way New Yorkers did 25 years ago.

    Now that is real hip isnt it?

  14. Your_Cul-De-Sac_Street_Smarts_Are_The_Reason_Why_Your_I-Gadgets_Get-Snatched_Away_From_You_On_A_Daily_Basis

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    UNFUCKING BELIEVEABLE

    HIPTARDS AT IT AGAIN

  15. Take a look at this, its the Beans guy from LATFH. Turns out he is in (Guess) a band. To who ever said that the girls are crawling over hipsters I think this will make you shut your mouth.

    • Your_Cul-De-Sac_Street_Smarts_Are_The_Reason_Why_Your_I-Gadgets_Get-Snatched_Away_From_You_On_A_Daily_Basis

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  16. “NYTimes has you banned because you’re nothing but a frothing at the mouth Brooklyn native idiot.”

    Well Diehipster and I have something in common!

    Keep up the good work!

    The What

    Someday this war is gonna end..

  17. I was born and raised in Brooklyn. I’m the fourth generation to be born there. My family helped build this city, literally: my father and grandfather worked on some of the biggest construction projects in the city back in the day. Now me and my family have to leave because we’ve simply been priced out by all these hipster kids who have come here.

    I don’t even care that much anymore. My kids are starting to grow up and, quite frankly, NY has changed a lot and I’m not sure I would want them to grow up in that atmosphere anymore. It might be safer than it was in decades past but the tight-bond of the neighborhood is gone and I don’t think it can ever come back. So, good riddance in a way.

    What I really wonder about is the economy. There used to be a productive economy in NY where we made and built things, where average people could expect to move up one day. Now all there is are art galleries, vegan restaurants and hip clothing stores staffed by transplants who would never hire the un-cool locals and offer no real chance of upward mobility as they’ll all be gone and move back to suburban Ohio or where ever the heck they came from in a few years. My job relocated and I had the financial wherewithal to leave but I feel bad for all the poor kids growing up in these neighborhoods who won’t have that opportunity and really probably won’t have any opportunities thanks to these hipster ***holes that are taking over.

    Now, I’m getting really politically active and I encourage you all to do so as well. Even here in my new home outside of DC hipster are flocking and taking over and pushing out a lot of poor black people who have nowhere to go afterward, certainly not anywhere where they’ll be able to find viable work. I found this site through Google and I support the author … you need to spread the word and start getting people politically active. Its the damn politicians that are after getting every buck they can out of property developers, politicians who think opening an art gallery in their neighborhood is some big achievement while they don’t give a damn about the lives of working people in their municipality that are allowing these hipsters to take root and push people out.

    • I hear you. I could remain in Park Slope forever if I wanted to, but I simply cannot imagine trying to raise a family in an environment as warped as this. Can you imagine, as regular Brooklyn people, having your kid come home from school repeating the garbage he hears from the spawn of these hipster-yuppie freaks and then having to try to explain it to him? Or to have your 8 year old harassing you about why you don’t give him $20 for lunch every day like Ezekiel and Emma’s parents do? And I’m sure the yupster brats engage in the same exact sorts of yuppie pissing contests as their retarded parents do, about who’s more “creative” than who.

      I’ve had people look at me like I’m crazy when I tell them that I plan on leaving Park Slope to have a family. But that’s fine. At least I know my future kids will have a fighting chance to grow up as normal, productive members of society as opposed to arrogant ‘creative’ brats who think the world owes them something.

      • Man, don’t remind me of my own suburban upbringing. I hear it constantly: yuptards who cry and whine about how they went through elementary and high school and could only watch as the cool kids got to eat McDonald’s lunches every day and come to class with the latest goofy toys. While they’ll swear up and down that they were better off because their parents weren’t willing to bankrupt themselves to buy that silly shit, what’s the first thing they do when they have kids? They run up the credit cards and burn through the inheritance to make sure their own spawn never has to deal with that sort of shame.

        About three years ago, I blew out a bike tire while riding home from work, and I ended up stopping in front of a local Staples store to take off the wheel and replace the tube. The store had shut down for the night about five minutes earlier, and I watched as the crew practically ran to their cars as soon as they locked up. About two minutes later, I understood why, as a succession of more-money-than-brains yups came cruising by in their SUVs, nagging me repeatedly “Do you work here?” As soon as I’d say “no,” they’d then start nuhdzing me about “Do you have…” in the store, and telling them “I don’t work here, so I don’t know” was as nonsensical to them as saying “I’m a dinosaur”. Out of the five idiots I had to deal with before I could finally get my tire reinflated and escape, three were insistent that I tell them whether that Staples had the exact Hannah Montana notebook they were seeking. See, their daughters would be laughed at the next day if they didn’t have the right notebook, so it had to be the “I get hot for guys old enough to be my grandfather” porn face, not the “I smile like this when my dad craps on my chest” porn face, so could I just open the store and let them take a look inside…?

  18. “Now, I’m getting really politically active and I encourage you all to do so as well. Even here in my new home outside of DC hipster are flocking and taking over and pushing out a lot of poor black people who have nowhere to go afterward, certainly not anywhere where they’ll be able to find viable work. I found this site through Google and I support the author … you need to spread the word and start getting people politically active. Its the damn politicians that are after getting every buck they can out of property developers, politicians who think opening an art gallery in their neighborhood is some big achievement while they don’t give a damn about the lives of working people in their municipality that are allowing these hipsters to take root and push people out.”

    Sounds great but, the Hipsters have infested every aspect of city living! There’re in Government, Media and Civic Groups!

    City government loves the Hipster because they will provide future tax revenue but, I think they will flee when things get bad.

    They last few years have been astonishing the Hipster have one goal and that is to turn big cites into a asshole playground!

    The What

    Someday this war is gonna end..

    • They can’t be providing that much tax revenue, because a) many (most) of them don’t work, and b) the ones that do work don’t make shit for money. Take a walk around Lower Manhattan or Midtown East during a work day and see how many bearded hipster-yuppies you see walking around. So it can’t be tax reasons that they’re encouraging gentrification. It has to be the political influence of the landlords/developers, because they are the ones who are making the most money out of the whole fiasco.

      If the yupsters are remitting any taxes to NYC/NYS, it’s not through income tax, that’s for sure. Maybe through sales tax or real estate (for the ones whose parents bought them property here).

    • Also, Bloomturd has proven that YOUR vote doesn’t even fucking count…right?

      How did things get so greedy????

  19. Do hipsters actually meet up this way? This crap is unbelievable! I laughed so hard reading these responses. They are trying to woo someone by saying stupid shit like “your post intrigued me so I felt compelled to write back”. I’m sure they say that to all their responses.

    • Yes, they do, because it’s easier than being shot down at a club or bar. Just look at a typical hipster this way: s/he goes through life with memories of the big junior high dance, where the little darling didn’t get a chance to dance once with anybody. Now, this was because Zooey or Brendan were sitting in the back corner, waiting for their heartthrob to make the first move. When they did, it was with someone so far out of their league that the recipient of their affections had to say “Please, get out of my face before I puke on your shoes.” Rather than change and rectify the situation (bathing, putting away the “May the Force Be With You” T-shirt, or learning to talk without whining), it’s easier to avoid the situation entirely and wait for someone else to put out the bait.

      And now you understand why most hipster couples seem even more broken than they would be separately. This is the best they can do, and they know it.

      • TTR I think you nailed it. I’m shocked that someone would be so afraid of rejection that they would rely on Craigslist to meet someone. These responses are ridiculous.

        • Gotohell, a friend of mine used to work for Match.com years back, and he told me tales of how its management knows how dysfunctional its customers are. Oh, sure, Match runs ads on radio and television in order to attract normal folks, but that’s to defuse claims that the only participants are mutants. The real advertising push is with weekly newspaper and science fiction magazine Web sites, and the audiences for each are pretty much identical.

  20. I expect that in the near future, a 40 year old ‘professional student’ is going to write a 50 page masters thesis about diehipster.com

  21. ” So it can’t be tax reasons that they’re encouraging gentrification. It has to be the political influence of the landlords/developers, because they are the ones who are making the most money out of the whole fiasco.”

    Ding ding ding!!!!!!

    That’s why this bullshit is going on! There’re trimming these fuckers! 2000 a month for a studio???? 4800 a month for a 2 Bedroom??? 8:00 for a Hamburger????? 699k for a Condo????

    The Retards have no visible means of support but, who give a fuck??

    As long the city and everyone else can rip these fuckers off Gentrification is here to stay!!!

    The What

    Someday this war is gonna end..

    • Isn’t it insane? After almost a decade I still can’t figure it out. You go to the Upper East Side–the richest zip code in the country–and there are still plenty of reasonably-priced places to eat. Enter gentrified Brooklyn, and you’ve got flyover-state mutants crawling over each other to pay $10 for a grilled cheese sandwich to go at “BKLYN Larder.”

      They truly are some of the stupidest people on the face of the earth.

      • Once again, New York is being converted into Portland East. When I lived out there, Portland was second only to San Francisco as the most unaffordable city in the US, based on cost of living versus average income. I couldn’t figure it out at the time, because somehow Portland could support any number of ridiculous schemes when its main tax base was making roughly the same amount of money as it was ten years earlier. What I didn’t realize at the time was that the hipsters brought in so much money from outside that the landlords and restauranteurs could get away with charging the prices they did. The locals could complain all they wanted, but when you had thirty transplanted mutants all literally fighting over the same black-mold-encrusted one-bedroom apartment renting for $800, nobody gave a shit about what the locals wanted.

        That part, of course, is what scares me. Sooner or later, the money’s going to run out. Either that, or someone’s going to decide that New York isn’t cool any more, and the hipster scum are going to move back to Dogfelcher Falls. Either way, they’re going to leave all of their toys behind, all of the bike paths and dog parks and kickball fields, and all of you who stay behind are going to be the ones having to clean up that mess for decades. I’m not even talking about the physical mess: I’m talking about the taxes and general charges on life spent in New York being assessed to cover the dismantling process. The yups aren’t carrying their weight there, and the moment the waiter delivers their bills, they’re moving right back with Mom and Dad.

  22. “Isn’t it insane?”

    It’s a sight to behold but, relax the end is very near..

    Newark NJ is in a state of emergency and Bloomberg is hiding New York City problems..

    The What

    Someday this war is gonna end..

  23. lmfao ..

  24. thank you for update

  25. Fuck me. Look at all the dumb, desperate dweebs pushing 40 and still fucking around Brooklyn doing nothing. It makes me extra, extra glad to be living nowhere near these saps, happily married and with a full-time job that pays me well. What a bunch of sad sacks.

    FUCK OFF HOME!

  26. “aid to an assistant events coordinator for this small start up art gallery in Bushwick”

    DH,

    you need to stop……………

    HYSTERICAL!

  27. A buddy of mine has been dating a hipster for a couple of months and I showed him this site and he kind of brushed it off and is allowing his girlfriend to clothe him (lumberjack shirt from the Salvation Army of course) and dictate where they hang out (Billysburg of course). It’s so sad cause he’s a young, well off computer programmer and she studies art, has no job and runs up credit card bills and attacks him all the time for not spending enough time with her even though he does nearly every day after his job. He literally is very smart and good at what he does and is the opposite of what a hipster is since he works long hours and has a job that is important in the grand theme of things but ultimately will be held back considerably by this bitch. This bitch who has thick rimmed glasses and drinks PBR all the time but swears to me she isn’t a hipster. He can’t see the bullshit writing on the wall and we are going to lose him.

  28. “I am on the endless quest for those that imagineer and envision a world…”

    imagineer.

    IMAGINEER.

    That’s creativity!

  29. Wow, this is seriously pointless. You all sound just as pretentious as eachother, Hipster or no. Prehapse it’s time some of you grew up and realised some internet blog isn’t the be-all and end-all of human existance.
    And yes, I am aware of the irony in my commenting.

  30. PREFACE TO THE NOTE: Here is a story I wrote as a cautionary tale against postmodernism the ideology which pervades the hipsters (and many of the yuppie circles as well) . I added some new names of bands that I have recently gathered are bands in favor with the hipsters to make it all the more of a satire of hipster thinking .

    NOTE : The following is a fictitious (though it is an appropro portrayal of relativist/postmodernist thinking) story which depicts a young man (age 24) who supports postmodernist/relativist ideology .In the story, he sent back in time from circa 2007 A.D. to 1855 Oneida, New York (by a University sociology department) to engage in discussion with an abolitionist orator. The young man is called in the story : Pomo kid …’pomo’ being an abbreviation for postmodernist . He is sent back into time with a special hidden video and audio device designed to record sound and image of the discussion that he will have with Benjamin Obadiah Whittaker –an abolitionist and former slave, who is scheduled on that June evening to give a speech on the evils of slavery, at the Shaker meeting house, during a meeting hosted by the Oneida abolitionist society .

    The exchange between Pomo Kid and the abolitionist leader is a cautionary tale presented in a format similar to a one-act play, designed to reveal the incongruity and general murkiness of postmodernist/relativist thinking (the ideology embraced by hipsters) . Keep in mind , O reader , that the ideology supported by Pomo Kid is completely *wrong* .

    PREFACE :Pomo kid has gotten in the time machine and the controls have been set for June 25, 1855 . Since the machine is the first of its kind and time travel with it expected to be slow, when going on what the scientists back at the lab call it’s “maiden voyage” , Pomo Kid has taken some magazines: the UTNE reader (bought for him by his limosine- liberal parents who read it themselves ) and Relevant Magazine .

    Pomo Kid –having a short attention span fostered by years of chronic MTV watching –has also taken a specially made CD player and some CDs to keep him amused. When he gets to 1855 Oneida , New York he discovers that miraculously the CD players and CD’s work –though he has a hard time getting them to work while riding in the time machine. The CD ‘s he has taken are as follows : Jewel’s Greatest Hits, a CD by the musical band Toad The Wet Sprocket, a CD by The Strokes, The Dawson’s Creek t.v. show soundtrack, a CD from the band Barenaked Ladies, and Rumors by Fleetwood Mac (A CD that he borrowed from his parents) , Modest Mouse, and a CD from a singer named Dan Hasletine .

    The time machine soon arrives in a dairy cattle field in 1855 Oneida,New York . He steps out of the time machine with his CD head set over his ears –and hidden minature camera recording device cocked and disguised as one of his piercings . As he steps out on to the farm field of Ezra Howell Drummond –no person sees the machine land, nor him emerge. The dairy cows give him monentary glances of dull suprise and then return to to crunching and grazing down the vast green verdure . He looks at a minature digital map device and proceeds to walk to the Shaker meeting house to hear the speech by Benjamin Obadiah Whittaker .

    He arrives on time and sits down . Some of the abolitionists and interested town folks noticed Pomo Kid as he arrives and are somewhat baffled by his odd appearance –as his clothes , hairstyle and general demeanor do not look period, but do not approach him . They are more interested in the speech by Mr. Benjamin Whittaker . Benjamin Whittaker presents a cogent and eloquent indictment of the evils of chattel slavery in the antebellum south. He especially highlights the treatment of slave women by slavemasters, overseers, and their cronies and acquaintances who, from time to time, rape the slave women on the plantations .

    Pomo kid allows his CD headspeakers to droop a little so he can hear the speech —and gives a skimming of the main elements . As the speech draws to its close, Pomo kid hears the anti-slavery orator sum up the directive set before good citizens everywhere in the states, in a way that does NOT mince words .

    ‘ And so good citizens of Oneida , we can send forth the clear message …both to posterity , to others who have shared and will share the North American continent, and to all nations and every town and village abroad , that we will no longer accept, nor even partially accept, a wicked commerce of bodies and souls that treats marriage and kinship as makeshift gambits in some sordid game , where transgression of the convenants between man and women is done with impunity . We will stand with the men , women, and children who long to have the stability accorded to man and wife by civilized society. We make no caveat to the forces of darkness and depravity that would settle for anything less! ‘

    There is a roar of applause and even a few Amens from the audience .

    Soon the speech is then over, and there is time for handshakes and entreties from the audience .

    Pomo Kid then approaches the abolitionist orator .

    POMO KID : “Hey Mr.Whiitaker , dude . I, like, enjoyed your speech . I can see that feel quite passionate about racial oppression and all , but there’s some stuff I’d like to discuss with you . I know that slavery is a bad scene and it’s kinda bogus how slaves are treated , but you gotta learn to respect the opinion of those who want to rape their slave women and sell their kids to other plantations too, and look at it from their perspective some too . You are, like, so judgemental, so preachy , dogmatic …so one-sided towards the opinions of those who want to rape slave women, beat them some, and sell their children downriver . It’s like you want to preach instead of discussing…you preach. You got to learn to look at it from other perspectives. What you are doing is the us versus them approach towards people who oppress and exploit slaves . The us versus them approach isn’t good . It’s fanatical to take the us versus them approach . The us versus them way is, like, so yesterday . Everything is connected . It’s all connected. Really the slaveowner and the oppressed slaves are really part of the same thing . Making distinctions is so passe /so yesterday . It’s all one . It’s all how you look at it .

    You know there’s many sides to every issue. Stuff like slavery is not all black and white, there are shades of grey. It’s not totally bad being oppressed as a slave . You got to look at it from other points of view . Learn to accept that problems are part of life…a growing experience . You know, getting raped and being sold away from your family just goes to show that life is give and take . If nobody ever got raped or exploited then you wouldn’t have give and take …and so you wouldn’t have reality ; it would be all idealistic . We can’t have stuff being idealistic all the time. Life is supposed to be a mixture of things . People are a mixture of things.

    It’s all the duality of man .

    In the time period I come from, we study deconstructionism and post-structuralism at my college, and I’ve been getting into Michel Foucault , and Lyotard, and Richard Rorty. They teach us not to totalize . What your are doing is totalizing …making people out to be villans if they don’t agree with rigid moral constructs . It’s all just language games –the divisions of beliefs that people have . There aren’t any absolute truths …or if there are, there aren’t very many…or we can’t be sure what they are .

    You got to learn something Mr.Whittaker: don’t be so single-minded ….’

    (Pomo kid pauses for an extended period of time and fiddles with his CD player and changes the Jewel CD for a Dawson’s Creek CD . He turns it down slighly so he can somewhat hear Mr . Benjamin Whittaker speak .)

    Benjamin Whittaker stares at Pomo Kid with a look of utter credulity and disgust at the weirdly pusillanimous , and convoluted statements that have poured forth from the young man’s mouth . He then speaks

    BENJAMIN WHITTAKER SPEAKS : ‘Young man, I scarcely know where to begin to disabuse you of the false , and weirdly ludicrous statements you have put forth here. You claim I must respect the vile opinions of those who support the exploitation and tyrrany which oppresses persons of African descent–and , moreover, exploits women whose virginity has been taken from them by force! What on earth have such opinions done to merit such respect, or to even almost halfway earn such respect .? Young man I can scarcely help wondering if you have fallen in with revelling hooligans in Manhattan, which smoke opium in houses of ill repute and, that such riotous living has altered your febrile brain to such an extent that you find it a habit to talk nonsense . Young man, I do not know where you are from —

    (Pomo Kid then interrupts Mr. Whittaker in mid sentence . Pomo kid is, after all, a postmodernist of the MTV generation and considers being fair and waiting till someone is finished talking to be passe and old fashioned communication practice, which he wants nothing to do with . Pomo kid favors a more edgy , open ended approach .)

    POMO KID SPEAKS : (Decides to start out with circular thinking ) .’ Dude, the idea that it’s wrong to rape slave women , or brutally beat and exploit slaves and sell their children away from them …that’s wrong to us , but not to the people who support exploiting and raping slaves… Doing that’s right to them . Morals and truth are relative and subjective. What’s true to you may not be true to them . It’s all just different perspectives. If you go and say that its absolutely wrong for people to exploit and rape their slaves, instead of saying that it’s wrong to us, then …you’re like Hitler. Now you probably aren’t familiar with who Hitler is …but in the 20 Century there’s gonna be this guy called Hitler, who takes over and takes away peoples’ rights. And if you say that some belief is totally wrong and another belief is totally right then you’re like Hitler . Just like these holocaust survivors, that the nazis put into concentration camps and came out being all bitter, and one sided and preachy, and say what Hitler and the nazis did was wrong, and don’t respect the nazi point of view a little—well they’re like Hitler too ! Just like a person who always stops a bully from bullying people and won’t look at it from a bully point of view a little…well that makes that kind of one-sided person who is against bullying, a bully too, and just as bad as the real bully .

    Also, just by saying that some belief or practice is wrong— just by verbally calling that belief wrong, you violate their right to free expression to say that opposite belief…even without any physical violence against them …without a single shot being fired .

    You got to understand also that if somebody says that some belief isn’t absolute , then that right there prooves that it isn’t . Take the proposition that says that 2+2=4 . Well, as long as somebody disagrees with the idea that 2+2=4, then that automatically shows that the idea that 2+2=4 isn’t absolute, otherwise every person would have to say they agreed with 2+2 being = 4, otherwise it’s not absolute .

    In the time period of history that I come from (which is the late 20 th and early 21 Centuries ), there’s this show called ‘The Real World’ . Now since television hasn’t been invented yet in 1855, you probably aren’t familar with that word. Television in the time I come from is a lot like what plays are on stages in the time you’re in . Television is kind of like a play —only more fun . So, in the time I come from, there is a show called ‘The Real World’ …and people on that show sometimes have different beliefs and so they can come together and get real and talk about the issues that bother them . The show teaches people to come out of their comfort zone (Pomo Kid runs through memory banks to come up with more newspeak words and phrases and finds some) and therefore they can have an impactive, impactful affect on each others lives, and give each other feedback about what they think. Now the people who are being raped , beaten , or exploited by masters and overseers down on those slave plantations, they got to stop being so one-sided and look at from another perspective, and come out of their comfort zone and stop portraying rape and exploitation as something totally bad. They can then get together with the slave owners and overseers and tell them about the way they feel, and then, get the slave owners and overseers to come out of their comfort zone too , and maybe tone down the rape and exploitation a little . That way you don’t have an us versus them .

    Some people would say that what I’m saying doesn’t make much sense …that it’s inconsistent, ambivalent thinking (which is another way of saying sell- out thinking ), but I don’t call it selling out . I call it “looking at it from another perspective” . And about the people who say that postmodernism (like I’ve been trying to get you to support), doesn’t make much sense, well it doesn’t have to make sense. Making sense is so passe …so yesterday . Distinctions are just so passe . I don’t bother with rigid distinctions. I ‘ve gotten into a sort of thinking called lateral thinking …that doen’t get all hung up on distinctions . Lateral thinking doesn’t have to always make sense.

    You Mr. Whittaker are a linear thinker …that consistent thinking is so out of style….so outmoded .Lateral thinking, that postmodernists (such as me) go for doesn’t bother with having to make sense …it tolerates ambiguity . You, Mr. Whittaker, are so rigidly consistent /so single-minded …a fanatical ideologue that goes to extremes of consistent thinking. You aren’t conflicted about anything !!!!

    In the time period I came from, there was a singer called Moby—who used to be so dogmatic and one-sided about the animal rights cause, but lately he learned not to be so judgemental towards opinions of people who don’t support animal rights . He respects the outlook of the people who are against animal rights now –even though he’s for animal rights .The same flexibility applies to any social cause. After all, a professor I had once in a classroom, quoted the quote, “a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds” .I’ve learned that selling out is not so bad . ‘

    (Pomo kid having temporarily dropped the Dawson’s Creek soundtrack picks it up and puts in the Toad The Wet Sprocket CD . He changes CDs about as quickly as a chain smoker replaces cigarettes)

    BENJAMIN WHITTAKER : (Still flabbergasted, begins to speak) ‘Without consistency of thought human affairs descend into meaninglessness….’

    POMO KID SPEAKS : ‘Not if you think they have meaning for you . You know, by the way, in 1855, the people who exploit and rape slaves are doing what was thought right at the time. We shouldn’t be so chauvanistic as to try to harshly criticize people who own slaves by the morality of later periods. If you say that people who exploit slaves are doing something totally wrong, then you’re just as bad as they are . Morality is different from one period to another …some people say that people in different periods might call different actions moral …and it not be a case of inherently different morals …but that’s all the same anyway …since I don’t bother with hair-splitting distinctions like that .’

    (Pomo Kid’s CD jams and stops playing temporarily. He pauses from speaking and, in so doing, ejects that CD and puts in the machine a CD of music by musician Dan Hasletine) .

    BENJAMIN WHITTAKER SPEAKS : ‘How are you so sure that people who exploit slaves are unaware that what they are doing is fully wrong ?’ (The good abolitionist has managed to put aside being shocked by the weirdly insipid statements presented by Pomo Kid long enough to get the composure to ask him that question .)

    POMO KID REPLIES : Well, if they thought it was wrong to exploit and mistreat slaves then they wouldn’t do it .

    BENJAMIN WHITTAKER SPEAKS : ‘So let me get this straight, young man…you allege that the mere willingness of somebody to do some act is in of itself some ad hoc proof that, in every such case, they must be sincere in doing so.? Where do you arrive at such a facile conclusion ?’

    (Pomo kid, who does not know a specific response to the question that can save face for how facile the previous statement he has just put forth has been…then searches his memory banks for the word he likes to bandy about whenever somebody presents an argument that is elaborate , doesn’t have postmodern cliches, and one which , moreover, he doesn’t want to slow down and bother to analyze . He finds that word …. the word “pseudo-intellectual” , which he uses to lambast elaborate arguments from people who refuse to sell out and entertain his lazy mind . )

    POMO KID SPEAKS :’ Dude, I realy don’t have time for pseudo-intellectual questions and statements like you have been making. Mellow out, Dude . You are so single-minded . You just need to get laid .’

    (Pomo Kid pauses and then speaks again )

    POMO KID SPEAKS :’ You want to know something ? If you judge a belief or lifestyle that somebody supports …that’s the same as judging them, because an alternative-singer I like said so, in an interview I read in Spin magazine . He later said the same stuff about that on a VH-1 documentary . He said that the beliefs a person supports are the person themself —so by judging the belief your judging the person . Beliefs are people .’ (Pomo Kid gets oddly quiet all of a sudden )

    BENJAMIN WHITTAKER THEN ASKS : ‘So to take such preposterously silly statement to its conclusion , do you then allege that if someone no longer believes the beliefs they once supported …they are no longer themselves .?’

    POMO KID ASKS : ‘Yes .’

    Why not say that ?’

    BENJAMIN WHITTAKER SPEAKS :’ Well, young man, I hope that you will reconsider those murky notions you have given a voice to . Slavery is quite ugly and the others here know that .’

    (Pomo Kid then takes out the Hasletine CD, and puts in a CD of Rumors by Fleetwood Mac in his CD player and adjusts the headset .) .

    POMO KID SPEAKS : (Takes on the weirdly petulant snippness that young postmodernists sometimes adopt) ‘You know what, dude, you just don’t understand . I’m starting to think that it’s just a waste of time explaining this to you …since you have a closed mind. I can see you have a closed mind, because you keep having to take everything apart and you keep insisting on consistent distinctions . That’s very anal retentive of you, Mr. Whittaker . That’s also a power play on your part . It shows that you have control issues and will not look at anything a different way . You just don’t understand. You got all that deductive reasoning …but that’s a defense mechanism . Since you refuse to come out of your comfort zone and become conflicted about anything, there’s probably no point in having a discussion .You just don’t understand …all you want to do is be a true believer and stereotype the lifestyle of other people . So, like WHATEVER , dude …that’s not my problem !’

    (Pomo Kid then speaks again )

    ‘You probably don’t think I identify with oppressed people but I do . My girlfriend and life partner Jasmine and me have gone to a lot of take back the night rallies . We’ve protested date rape on campus , though we respect the opinion of those who like date rape, since date rape is wrong to us , but not to the rapist . I’ve known oppression and been a victim of oppression myself . The year before last I went to go stay with my aunt Veronica, because my parents were using their house as a meditation center for married couples, and me being kind of high maintence …we figured I’d get in the way and so I went to go live with Veronica . But my aunt is an old school Mennonite –and so she’s like real rigid , dogmatic , and puritanical and so she wouldn’t let me and Jasmine’s ex boyfriend (he’s a real kewl guy who pierced my belly button when we went to Woodstock 94), and her ex boyfiriend ‘s cat all get together and have group sex games together in her house . She’s real dogmatic against sex (if you ask me she has some real issues if she’s against group sex games) . Sex is, like, my identity . Also I understand oppression because people sometimes look at me funny because I have a lot of piercings …so I know what it’s like to be oppressed too . ‘

    BENJAMIN WHITTAKER SPOKE : ‘Young man, I pity someone with such a murky , ridiculous attitude as you have . If you excuse me, now myself and the other people here are going to march to the town hall where we will make the protest of slavery public … ‘ (He then turns away and walks toward the others who have gathered at the far door of the Shaker meeting house ) .

    POMO KID SPEAKS (Runs up ahead to meet up with them): ‘ So you guys are going to a protest down town. Kewl ! For shizzle …that’s the shiznic ! I’ve been to protests with my girlfriend and our boyfriends …we’ve been to take back the night …and we’ve been to rallies at Lillith Fair too, so I know the routine . I once met Michael Stipe at a protest !’

    (Mr. Whitakker and the other abolitionists have begun already begun to file out signs en hand . They cast backwards glances of disgust and perplexity at Pomo Kid ) .

    Pomo Kid then runs out after them , “Let’s do it . End oppression now. Oppression is f–ked up . The people united will never be defeated …the people united will never be defeated ! The people united will never be defeated ! ‘

    (He, upon hearing the onset of a track on the CD playing the Fleetwood Mac song ,’ Don’t stop thinking about tommorrow’, then begins to sing in unision to the song —as if it were a marching chant …As he runs out into the starlit roads of 1855 Oneida, New York, he soon finds he wishes he had a latte to round out the day) .

  31. apostrophe’s and possessive’s and plural’s oh my. jes’us’ puking christ, are there any CL user’s who have pas’s’ed 5′th grade????? You’d think the typical over-educated hips’ter would at least have that down.

  32. Hello, Just a heads up that when I come to the homepage I am send straight to this comment page, I’m not sure why but thought you would like to know Mainly on the homepage) Best wishes

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