Hey! Let’s fly in from Hawaii and make egg creams in Brooklyn! Yeah that’ll help you fit right in and make it seem like gentrification never happened! Thanks to the person from Carroll Gardens who sent me this.
This guy Petey was born in Maine, went to school in Montana because of a line from a Brad Pitt movie, then went to Hawaii and now has chosen to give Brooklyn a whirl for a little while. He’s going to restore an old pharmacy in Carroll Gardens and call it ‘Farmacy’ of course. Why are all these fucking cocksuckers trying to turn Brooklyn into a farm all of a sudden?
Since Petey has so much time and money on his hands and with the help of the Discovery Channel, he’s dead set on making the best egg cream in Brooklyn as if it’s 1950 and candy stores and soda fountains are all over the place. Yes this self proclaimed egg cream connoisseur actually took a trip to Hinsch’s, an over 60 year old diner in Bay Ridge to “check out the competition“. He shook his head and said ‘it’s not up to par, you gotta be on your A-game even though it’s just an egg cream. You always gotta make the best egg cream possible.’ Are you fucking kidding me? How dare you fly in from Hawaii and start judging how an old Brooklyn diner makes their egg creams. Of course he is going to use organic milk in his egg creams. He claims he is opening this store to serve the ‘old residents’ of the neighborhood. HA! What a fucking joke. You mean the handful of old Italians still left? Or the next generation that still lives there and despises most of you yups? Nice try Petey, you just think it’s cool, and nostalgic, and ironic and vintage to re-open an old pharmacy and sell new age organic crap out of it to the yupster crowd.
Ever notice how hipsters and yupsters do the simplest most common things or some idiotic project and need to broadcast their stories to the whole world? And who says they’re narcissistic attention seekers?