Holy shit. Am I dreaming or imagining that I just found this ridiculous website? They are showcasing talentless, granny dress, mindless, poseur girls as if they are some kind of trophies and expecting hipster guys to drool over them. There’s not much on that site yet so you can go through it pretty quickly and read the answers these Raggedy Ann’s are giving to questions like ‘What makes you a good hipster wife?’ and ‘What do you look for in a hipster guy?’

LINK- www.hipsterwifehunting.com

I think the most sickening thing on that site is their latest post titled “A Brooklyn Love Story”. How can it be a Brooklyn love story when the two people were raised in abandoned gas stations on Highway 49 in fucking Montana? It’s about Tucker and Emily, two members of the ear piercing trio called Total Slacker. The band is described, (by the bed-headed, celery armed, hummus spreading, wanna-be New Yorker oxygen thief blogger, of course) as ‘doing peachy’, ‘blowing up faster than a can of Diet Coke in a microwave’ and ‘rising to the top of the indie music scene’. After listening to 5 seconds of their music below, you’d probably rather light an M-80 in your ear.

 I also hate the opening line of the post… ‘Love stories often seem like an oxymoron here in Brooklyn. In the borough of industrial wasteland, it appears the only love its residents have is with rye whiskey and Kurt Vonnegut.’ Only a clueless, naive transplant that has never left the zipcode he arrived to would say that. So anyway, as promised I bring you the band, the love story, the Brooklynites….. Total Slacker.