Why? Why? Why?!?!?! – The Idiotarod.
Posted: February 2, 2010 Filed under: Main 85 Comments »
This is probably THE MOST nauseating and fucking annoying thing the hipsters do. The Idiotarod. What can possess a 20, 30, or even 40 something to dress in a costume when it’s not even Halloween ( 3 months after actually), decorate a shopping cart and run through Brooklyn, Queens, or anywhere for that matter in a drunken race? I can see this being set-up for small children, less the alcohol, to do in an enclosed parking lot or park, but adults who aren’t even from here??? YOU STUPID, IRRITATING, SPOILED, OUT OF PLACE BITCHES! Why is this even allowed? The NYPD should just arrest them all when the show up to their ‘secret location’. Please hipster, don’t give me that ‘we’re only trying to put a smile on NY’ers faces’ or ‘we’re just spreading some culture’ bullshit. We’ve never done things like this and never planned on it either. So why do you do it? It just shows how much time you have on your hands you filthy bastards. Don’t you trend sucking, talentless, pasty, ironic, suburban fly over state, naive cocksuckers see that you’re acting like 13 year olds in summer camp?
Real city people, or at least the vast, vast, vast majority of us just can’t stand that shit. I could never move to another state and act like you hipsters do. I could never pretend to be an artist, pay an inflated rent, and disrespect the natives with childish behavior. Do me a favor you fucksters, and not just the Idiotarod assholes, I mean all of you hipster transplants. Take a train ride ten or more stops into Brooklyn or Queens other than on your precious L train and tell me what you see? See if even one person resembles Josh the bearded absinthe enthusiast, or Molly the sculptor/barista, or Blake the bass playing kickball player, or Ethan the Mac toting surrealist, or Zoe the granny dress sewing flea market queen? You won’t see any of them. Why? Because those are areas where normal working, non attention seeking people live. Those are areas that I wish I could protect with my little fucking website. Those are areas that nobody wants your smelly pioneering asses moving to in ‘search of cheaper rent’. Because the moment you do, the landlords will take one look at you and $ee dollar $igns. You bastards are the cause of rents rising. It started with your hipster ancestors from 10 years ago and has continued with you in present times. Yet you love to complain about the high rents. You clueless idiots.
Here is the Daily News You Tube video from this years Hipstitarod. Please pay attention to the fucking idiot at 0:13 and then again at 1:33 with the moustache and bottle of Jameson. God, I just want to shake him into a coma and say WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE????
“You bastards are the cause of rents rising. It started with your hipster ancestors from 10 years ago and has continued with you in present times. Yet you love to complain about the high rents. You clueless idiots.”
AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
why do you care what these self proclaimed idiots do? They are stupid, they admit it now why do you care? Do you really want to join them deep on the inside. I think so! I think you want to stop worshiping god and going to church and sitting on the couch night after night watching your favorite T.V. show. I think you are tired of you frustration venting blog site against people and want to get out of your rut and belong to something, someone? I think you are tired of being sad angry and alone, and perhaps you should try something new instead of daily reminding others of your misery by posting it here! Thanks, see you next year for the idiotrod!
If you bothered to read the blog, you would see that we as Brooklynites care because: 1) you come here and raise the rents through the roof for no legitimate purpose but rather just to act like the spoiled overgrown children you are; and 2) you’re exceedingly disrespectful and condescending to our communities in the process of carrying out your Brooklyn playdate.
Go try acting like adults, working a real job and supporting yourselves for once. I guarantee that if you do, attention-seeking schemes like the “Idiotarod” will fall a few notches on your priority list, you bunch of fucking pampered inbred transplant brats.
what’s so sad about idiots like puss is the fact that they dont realize that youre the biggest laughing stocks of this city. people are not laughing with you , theyre laughing at you. you say that we’re sad angry and alone? but yet you and the rest of the dickheads on that video are parading around like little children craving attention from others, even though youre grown adults….kinda….no actually i do alot of things for fun but thankfully it’s nothing do with having to act childish…. dam i wish i had a mommy and daddy that gave me a trustfund that way i wouldnt have to work and have responsibilities like a real adult ,so i can instead go and act like a speacial ed child and parade on the streets..yeah i really envy you… dickhead
sometimes i wonder why we have our friends and family relatives our brave men and women fighting on the other side of the country so useless people like this asshole can go parade around the streets like a dumbass..puss i hope you look at this video very well and realize that you will never respected like any of the people in this video..
That video makes me so so so so so so wish Bush had reinstated the draft and drafted the hipsters.
Maybe Obama will still do it but I’m not holding my breath.
That’s what’s missing in America today. Rich kids and poor kids fighting together. Poor kids should not be enlisting as a career option. It should be required of everybody regardless of race, creed or class.
Then let’s see justice being done and hipsters coming back burnt and maimed and spending their trust-funds on special surgery.
In my conversations with hipster-yuppie scum, when I tell them I spent my early 20s in the service, the look on their pasty faces is equivalent to as if I had just told them I spent my early 20s locked in my parents’ bedroom closet. It’s a “why would you do something like that?” sort of reaction.
I am struck by the contrast between the frolicking cunts of Williamburg and the kids that enlist.
1. Enlisting, more than ever highlights the economic disparaties in US.
2. It is truly shameful that these cunts are frolicking about while good men and women are getting mutilated and killed on their behalf.
3. This frolicking isn’t about anything other than conspicuous consumption. They have time and money to dress up like fucking retards on acid and run through the streets for their own self-satisfied ammusment. It is utterly devoid of any societal relationship save their wealth. No political statement, no intellectual or creative contribuution…the only thing this turd army is saying is: We’re above it ALL, fuck you.
4. Even their so-called community involvement is ridiculous. Instead of volunteering at the VA or god forbid helping the US by enlisting, they plant a garden instead. In their brain damaged view, helping is helping no matter how disconnected from society that “help” is. Its like giving a starving man and fucking bicycle! They have encircled themselves in a fantasy world where only THEY matter.
5. I’m with you Hipsterminator, I hope the draft is reinstated too. When will these people ever pay their fair share?
6. Remember 9/11? I remember news broadcasts of these corn-fed shit heels back on college campuses in BFE, they were all crying and whining, and got the NYFD or NYPD tatoo. They were thousands of miles away and yet they behaved like it was their family that got blown up. It was like the 9/11 attack happend to THEM personally. Oddly, 9/11 attracted these shit bags to NYC. You’d think that people who were THAT affected by 9/11 would want to enlist or at least take care of the disabled troops. But no, its cooler to frolic.
In a nasaly, whiney midwestern accented voice:
“why do you care what these self proclaimed idiots do”
Actually, Megan, we don’t. But you and the rest of god’s human turd army seem obsessed with putting your retarded escapades in our faces and, it tends to piss people off a little. And, you know, Im talking fucking inconvenient broke-ass working people who may be working 2 jobs or laid off and worried about paying rent and feeding their kids or finding a new place to live after being displaced so you fuckfaces can frolic. FACE IT BITCH NEW YORK HATES YOUR FUCKING GUTS.
” I think you want to stop worshiping god and going to church and sitting on the couch night after night watching your favorite T.V. show”
Guess what megan, you worship an unflushed toilet bowl and the turds floating around in it. Go pray to Vice magazine maybe that will fix your hair lip.
“I think you are tired of you frustration venting blog site against people and want to get out of your rut and belong to something, someone”
Sorry, Dan Deacon didn’t give you permission to think.
Now go shave your legs.
The oh-so (not) talented Dan Deacon:
Pinnacle of hipster music.
Dan Deacon is the Pat Robertson of Hipsters. Here’s another cultural turd that made an infamous appearance the on the old Die Hipster site:
http://tiny.cc/nitejewel275
And prey tell, what the fuck is this supposed to be?
That, my friend, is a rare glimpse of a hipster’s wet dream.
Well, seeing how male hipsters never get laid…..
Check out the spastic dancing. These guys are practically virgins.
douchebaggage at its finest.
The average age in that vid looks to be easily over 30. Not to mention, those people are all fugly.
Where is that stupid “you’re just jealous because yupsters are younger and better-looking than you” parrot when you need him? LOL
he’s probably cleaning the dinner dishes like his mother told him. but that parrot will most likely put in his two cents like always.
They are an insult to the unemployed and impoverished in New York City…
Am I the only one who thinks this looks like a fucked up live action hipster version of The Warriors?
Actually it sorta does, now that i look at it closely.
well there goes something else that they try to copy and ruined.
these assrags never made the transition, mentally, from middle school.
what day did this thing go down…Tuesday afternoon?
these clowns are obessesed with getting people to pay attention to them and their ‘zany’ antics.
but, the thing is, it isn’t ‘zany’. it’s just some aging, trust-fund-sucking, drug addled, tattoo-covered ass rag clammoring for attention…
why do these asswads think anyone cares if you’re drunk in the middle of the afternoon on a workday, and wear a funny (read ‘faggy’) mustache (at age 30+).
What a bunch of jag-offs.
Go back to Pennystucky with that act.
just like the chopsticks comment in the previous posts, these hipsters are such effing idiots/ignorant. did you see the tiananmen square team? ughhh that’s like having a kristalnacht (holocaust) team or a north korea massacre team. effing idiots. they love to preach about how open-minded/cultural they are, yet they do the most offensive things like use their own effing ceramic chopsticks at a thai restaurant or make a joke out of a serious massacre. & they love stupid che guevara & mao zedong paraphernalia-which pisses me off. and that josh with the mustache–what an effing douche. he looks like every other charlie chaplin wannabe hipster in hipsterwickyslopey town.
It’s because they’re being ~*~edgy~*~ and ~*~un-PC~*~. Oh, and “ironic”, though they clearly don’t know what the word means.
these assrags sensitive!!
hahahha!
don’t make me laugh.
they are the most condescending, entitled assrags going…bar none.
hipster music is terrible…
that shit sounds like the soundtrack to a mood disorder…
if you’re ‘into’ that ‘music’, I strongly suspect that you’re into huffing gasoline, antidepressants and seizures…
HAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
And the lyrics are all the same: “WAAAAAAAAAH! Mommy won’t let me buy heroin with her credit card!” (I was at a show a few months ago with a typical beardo hipster as deejay, and this shitheel actually started playing Beck’s “Loser” as if it and he were relevant. Sorry, but the moment I hear the lyrics “’cause I’m a loser, baby/So why don’t you kill me?”, I take that as a directive, not a question.)
Oh, if you think this is funny, just look at the cardboard wars being scheduled in Brooklyn. I passed this on to DieHipster before the old site crashed, so I’ll have to dig up the link, but it’s effectively this stupid event every other weekend, with trust fund brats making cardboard swords and shields and beating on each other with them. (Personally, I’m all for random violence against hipsters, but I really wish they’d go to real weapons. You can’t make grenades out of cardboard.)
You mean this?
http://gothamist.com/2009/07/07/video_cardboard_tube_war_to_be_twee.php
babypac, haha. the sountrack to a mood disorder. so true. speaking of mood disorders, hipsterwads love to write shitty music about how melancholy/depressed/filled with ennui/etc their lives are. because ohhh they’ve had such tough lives. they are filled with existential suffering. poor trust fund babies.
get over your fake depression, fake deepness, fake zaniness, & get a job at a circus. at least at the circus you can be part of something real: entertaining kids (yes kids, you pedophiles), making money, & out of precious brooklyn space on a tuesday afternoon.
this Dan Deacon character reminds me of that episode of theburgtv.com where they make fun of hipster music.
p.s. the bushwickbk.com real estate section is ridiculous. i can’t believe how much these professional clowns pay for studios.
I’m really familiar with the “depression” thing. The only depression they’re actually familiar with is the one their ass makes on the couch. The reason why it’s currently popular with these entitlement brats to claim that their inability to get jobs is due to how “I’m depressed” is because you don’t get sympathy and medication for saying “I’m too lazy to pull my pants down when taking a crap.”
The Hasids are really the ones who are pushing shopping carts.
Every month the Hasids are pushing shopping carts full of hipster rent money all the way to the bank.
And then they got fucked again on the bike lanes when the Hasidim got them taken away on Bedford. Heh, heh.
i got nothing against hasids since i grew up my entire life around them. they are nice people, but imo i think that they are smart business people, here they are renting apartments to hipster for like $2000 to $3000 that were once $600 and at the same time keeping them out of their neighbordhoods and into bedford or other places, and at the same time taking away their precious bedford bike lane while taking their money. that’s genious
genius
I’m not sure who this Brooklynite dude is who runs this blog: http://ihatehipsters.blogspot.com
He hasn’t updated it in a while, but nevertheless this pic he created cracks me the fuck up:
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_n2sOyctKG-k/SN_8wQesDaI/AAAAAAAAAEM/Wmbq2Yhj2RA/s1600-h/Hipsterama.jpg
PS=YT, yeah did you ever notice that this dude and the Elvis barber kinda look alike..just sayin.
That’s because both of them are laughing all the way to the bank thanks to stupid hipsters.
I’ve known this guy since the late 80s from the LES. He actually turned me on to diehipster.
Its not just the Hasidim feeding off them like vampire bats either– think about all that hipster shit that they like to buy! They are totally susceptible to *any* maketing campaign. There must be a cabal of evil fashion queenas laughing all the way to the bank out there who designed the fug wear these retards are trying to rock. Its as if someone has warehoused all the the trashiest crapiest clothes that no one wanted in 80′s and now busted it out for these clowns to overpay for! And they can’t get enough of it. I saw some smug bitch megan on the F train lookin well scrubbed and corn fed in her clean shiney WHITE Dr. Martens. What a clown fest.
Don’t get me started. It was bad enough when the current crop of hipsters’ parents were copying the “Seattle look” in the early Nineties. The only thing funnier than watching a gaggle of emaciated morons in flannel and Dr. Suess hats walking down the street is when that street is in Dallas, in July, at about 4 in the afternoon. I’m amazed the chickensuckers didn’t just explode into flame.
hahahahahaha WHITE doc martens. hahahahahaha
Eventually this movement will fade. I hope.
Not unless we start spraying nerve agents through the area during the next race. As Hunter S. Thompson noted, “Tear gas slaps at the problem. Nerve gas solves it.”
I was wondering about that. So 90′s was really when the retro uber trend peaked and new culture just stopped. Everything past that has been a repeat of successive decades from 70′s forward. Now we’re in late 80′s and with the appearance of the Elvis salon, early 90′s. I predict we get a resurgance of grunge and then mass suicide.
If the mass suicide thing doesn’t work out after the grunge resurgance fades away, we might be stuck with a bunch of hipsters dressed up like late 90s boy bands.
Or god forbid an army of Brit Spears girls named Fallon or Trinity.
In the video with The Ninjas….Try to catch what they say at 1:07….. “They have been throwing Smoke bombs over the bridge” …..That’s a serious terror offense. MTA Buses go over that Pulaski Bridge. That would of been great if some one would of called 911 on a terrorist attack and RAIDED all of these douches and arrested them.
NY 1 : “14 Year old wannabe Hipsters Busted in Terror Attack Joke”
Won’t happen. You know it’s one law for the rich and one for the poor in America. Like when some blond young female gets mugged (especially by a black guy) it’s a media sensation for a few days. Yet other (non blond females) get mugged all the time and the media ignore it entirely.
If a dark-skinned person (therefore a muslim) is seen with a video camera in Manhattan, he is automatically a terrorist. But if a bunch of white rich kids throw gasoline bombs at traffic they’re just nice hipsters.
Oh, and you should hear the screams if anybody tries to fix this. My ex is up in Portland, and she heard about an old boyfriend up there who was busted at the big G-3 protests in Seattle. Never mind that the guy was arrested for hitting a cop in the head with a rock because the cop dared ask the crowd of dumb hippies to disperse: the guy’s apparently going to be in jail for another five years or so, so that’s motivated her to “fight for the welfare of American radical political prisoners”.
Personally, I encourage her. The more energy she wastes on trying to convince the world that this dweeb is a political prisoner instead of a fucktard, the better. She might learn something about futility by the time the guy gets out, but more likely, she’ll just have someone in her life who’s more unemployable than she is.
That’s the corner from where i live. They do this CRAP event every year and ruins the streets with paint/powder/and paper. + They halted traffic to cross the streets even when the light was Green. How inconsiderate. It was Horrible and they looked like douches you’d wanna run over. According to this Video: There are less participants this year. Most have probably ran out of trust fund $$$ for Materials, Costumes and Makeup or got laid off and went back home. + its fucking cold out. Most of them stayed home.
You guys are lucky. On your corner, this only happens once a year. This shit happens every day on Alberta Street in Portland. Hell, there, you have the douchebags parking dead cars at each end of the road on Friday nights and then slashing the tires, giving them a free “parade zone” in the time it takes for tow trucks to haul off the dead cars. (Never mind the number of people with jobs who just want to get home on a Friday night: if you’re unlucky enough to have your parents pay for everything, you don’t need to be in the neighborhood.)
yeah. hipsters love hard-core communism. and it shows through their display of Mao, Che, and Communist ‘Stars’, and Obama.
talk about deluded! hahahahaha!
dumbasses.
it would be interesting if someday one of these child minded hipsters decides to show up in florida with a che guevarra shirt, i have a feeling the cuban americans will do something about that.
Hell, even in Putin’s Russia, if they were to protest, they wouldn’t last 5 minutes.
Look what happened to this idiot:
To baby pac re communist loving hipsters: It seems like they do aspire to that outdated economic/social system yet I have observed many of them sitting on the F train with their Ayn Rand bibles. Surely they must realize Ayn Rand was a capitalist appologist and a communist defector and a shitty writer.
Yeah, but Rand is catnip to that type. Oh, sure, they can bitch about her politics, but they’re all for creating a new society where they’re recognized as being above the mere humans. (Science fiction fandom is full of equal entitlement from pro-abortion poster children who quote A.E. van Vogt’s Slan right alongside Atlas Shrugged.) It’s also why they obsess over what to do in the case of zombie attack. In reality, though, if society really were to crash, they’d either be sex slaves or food.
To me Rand is the ultimate yuppie. She is the basis for rampant neocolonialist young pioneer frolicking. Never got into the Slans, but yeah, it seems like these hipster shits are Slans in their own minds. Wait….isn’t that the name of the hottest new band, The Slans of Williamsburg?
To the Video above:
Yup…. the Russians don’t fuck around. They see something stupid in the streets, they are escorting you OUT. We need a special Hipster Task Force like this in Brooklyn. I would be happy to contribute my TAX dollars into it.
I personally would love to see yupsters start getting “disappeared” from the streets of Williamsturd and Shit Slope.
What’s even funnier is that this turd was handing out flyers to the OMON, Putin’s crack squad police. Those guys are a bunch of psychotic sadists, usually drunk on vodka, with machine guns. They laugh at the idea of constitutional rights while they pistol-whip you into pulp.
Maybe more hipsters should move there.
You got to move to the place you want to make it, brah.
P.S. My old hipster roommate always claimed he banged foreign celebrities when I was not at the apartment. I thought you guys might get a kick out of that.
Well, if “banged” meant “jacked off to while crying” and “foreign celebrities” meant “old photos of East German police putting out cigarettes in the eyes of little old ladies,” he was telling you the absolute God-honest truth.
lol.. this dude seriously sounds like such a complete cornball–i.e., like the typical hipster-yuppie transplant.
I love how he tried to pull that wannabe-alpha move on you in front of girls at a bar: “Damn dude, you know more about Connecticut than I do,” hahaha
He provided a shit ton of conversation fodder.
Now that I moved out, he calls me up sometimes to tell me how much money he is making and then ask to borrow some until the checks roll in. He let it slip that his parents are starting to withhold money and he is relying more on his credit cards.
He is a couple of years older than me, and I honestly felt like he was my retarded son for a while.
So if you shook the dude with the Jameson and he was like “What? Why the fuck are YOU here? Why am I WHERE exactly? My mom lives 3 blocks from here” then would you realize you make no sense?
The end of Hipsterdom is here with the rise of the Jersey Shore. Face it, Hipsterdom is a fad and now everyone will want to be a Guido.
See man, therein lays the problem. Hipsters are cultural parasites, who affix themselves to a lifestyle, sucking it dry of substance or meaning in the name of irony. They’re doing the same to Guido style, just like they did to rural “white trash” style. Read the paper, man, fucking hipster bars are throwing fist pump parties, serving ron ron juice and having snook-alike contests. Why are they doing this? Because hipsters essentially have no style, creativity or cultural input, so they cherry pick from various trends to form their own “unique” appearance. Guidos are, unfortunately, the hipsters’ next intended victims.
Guidos versus Hipsters: Josh gets cold cocked by Pauly D.
Also, I’ d like to see following movies (re)made:
1. Warriors versus the Hipsters
2. Race with the Devil (where hipsters are the dumb-ass vacationers who get killed by witches)
3. Soylent Green (reshot in Williamsburg in the distant future where hipsters realize all the organic shit they’ve been eating all these years is really recycled hipsters!)
4. The Manchurian Candadite (where Josh finally realizes he’s been programed by corporations to buy shit and generally act a fool and kill the preseident!)
I like this idea, but we need more. For instance, another remake of “Dawn of the Dead”, this one set around an American Apparel store. And, of course, there’s always the remake of “Deliverance” set at Burning Man.
Hahahahahahahahahahahhhhhaaaaa
This game is great…
How about a hipster version of Death Race 2000? Instead of cars, they have to battle it out on fixed gears thru mid-town traffic.
We’d be better off with a hipster version of “The Road Warrior”, where the hipsters are on fixed-gears and the Dogs of War are in cars and motorcycles. I’d pay double to see this done in real life.
More:
Videodrome (Where Josh sees one fuckin shitty hipster band too many and loses his mind, causing him to grow a large gun in place of his hand and go around shooting hipsters on the L train)
Ghostbusters (Where Bill Murray, Dan Ackroyd, Harold Ramis and Ernie Hudson have invented a new device to trap and store hipsters deep in the sewars of New York City. They happily exterminate all hipsters from Brooklyn.)
The Terminator (Where normal people from our time get together and build an evil terminator and send him back to 1986 to kill the people who spawned the first Josh)
Flatliners (Where I convince a group of hipsters to undergo a near death experience because its rilly cool and urban, promising to revive them after 3 minutes. But, instead of reviving them, I let out a maniacle cackle.)
Warriors versus the Hipsters — perfect!
“Hiiiipsters, come out to play-ay!”
Actually, I’d wanna be one of the Baseball Furies, just to be able to take a bat to some beardshit’s kneecaps.
I found this blog and story late, so I don’t know if my point will get across, but go here:
http://newyork.metromix.com/events/essay_photo_gallery/idiotarod-2010/1737182/content
And look at the very first picture that loads for this slideshow of this event: an inflatable Jesus Christ on the cross.
If you needed confirmation of a more vapid, clueless state of uniformly shared fucking offensive idiocy, there you have it.
Never mind that Brooklyn is known as the borough of Churches (the vast majority Catholic), and that these assholes are parading around with this shit through some traditionally Catholic neighborhoods.
I’ve got a suggestion. Bring your skinny-jean fitting asses, along with this shit float, down by OLMC, preferrably around the beginning of July.
[...] name. Whether you’re my Uncle Rob, who purposely misspells it Idiotatard, or a disgruntled hipster hater, you can’t argue that there’s nothing idiotic about non-court-ordered community [...]
The funniest part of this whole cherade is that the idiot at 0:13 and 1:33 is a born and raised Brooklyn Native!!!
I am fourteen fucking years old and i know that is an activity left for people my age! is it too hard for these antisocial pricks to understand that no one gives a shit and this is an activity for children?!?!
Well, Rene, it’s like this. You ever notice the helicopter parents at school, who scream about their daughters getting on the drill team and their sons on the debate team even if they don’t have any talent at it? They’re living vicariously through their kids, in the desperate hope that their kids will do better at this than they did. Hipsters bypass bullying their kids into doing the things they wanted to do, and settle for bullying other kids out of the way. The next time one of the fortysomething bums cuts you off in the park because he has to race his snow-saucer down a bare hill, just clothesline him. The only thing he’ll be able to do is cry for his mommy.
thanks that is something i will enjoy doing to torment those bloodbelching pigfuckers